The beginning of the end.

Wow can you believe it. My last post was about me selecting between two contractors, and as I’m typing this, the house is actually about 98% done. Just a couple more minor works and I’m ready to move in!

Of course, many things have happened since then and now. Soooo many issues with the contractor, so many things that needed my decision and so on… As promised in the last post, I will show you before, during and after pictures because I’m so proud of the home that I built (well technically not me), and seeing those visions come to life.

However, I think I owe it to you all who have been putting up with my whinging and stuff to update you on this.

X and I have finally fallen out. This time, there really is no going back. It started with something smallish, and then I guess he has had enough of my shit because he unleashed everything, including very very nasty and hurtful words.

He basically called me rude and disrespectful as a friend because of my explosive nature. While I do not deny that fact, I feel that I have been gaslighted as well. It’s not to say that I am not taking any responsibility for my volatile temperament, but basically he is absolving himself of everything and blaming me for everything that has transpired so far.

It’s been a long time coming. With every argument that we’ve had, I’ve been feeling the distance between us. This just seals the deal. I really do not think we can go back to being friends after all that has been said and done. By that I mean him. He basically unleashed all his pent up anger and accused me of very ridiculous things. And this time, something in me snapped as well. Usually, I’d be regretful and be thinking of ways to make amends but not this time.

Like I said, I take accountability for some of my behaviour but it’s not fair to pin everything on me. Yes, a part of me died while reading those words he sent to me. But this time, I really don’t think what I did what so wrong as per what he described.

The worst thing to come out of this almost decade-long friendship is our physical proximity to each other. We now reside in the same neighbourhood. Isn’t it ironic? When we were so close, we were apart and now that we’re “together”, we’re apart.

I’m not sure how I’d react if I bump into him in the future. Will I turn and walk the other way, or will we say awkward hellos?

10 years. I never expected us to end like this. And I’m not sure how I will cope moving forward because he’s been such an important person in my life. I haven’t had time to lament about the end of our friendship this week (yes the blowup happened only last week) between work, and packing my life up in the old house for the big move. I’m very sure I will start feeling it soon, but I also hope I’m strong enough to survive this. I have to. I cannot afford to crumble on top of being alone in the new house. That will surely drive me to depression.

xoxoxoxo.

Home beckons.

Hello September! Just a heads up, I believe my upcoming posts will all revolve around my new home, so skip right through if this ain’t your thing. I’m sorry I keep talking about it because it’s such a huge chapter (and a lot of money) in my life.

So I will be getting the keys near the end this month and from now and in between, I’ve been busy with engaging a contractor to do up the house. At first, I set a budget of S$30k because I thought I only needed to do up mainly the kitchen and two toilets. Well, I thought wrong. There’s apparently many things that I want to do hahaha.

Here in Singapore, because many of the workers and construction work are outsourced to Malaysians, therefore there’s been a major shortage of manpower because of covid restrictions. I contacted at least six to eight companies and only TWO replied. But I did have very good vibes and communication with one of them, so at least I don’t feel like I’m forced to choose or settle.

So here’s the thing. The first quotation came up to a whopping S$76k. Nearly fell off the chair for real when it was first presented to me. Sis ain’t got that kind of money. After removing many aesthetics wants, I whittled them down to mostly function and needs, and it’s still S$49k. This does not include rewiring the house, fixtures, appliances and furniture. So it will be safe to say that I will be extremely poor after this whole thing.

But since I’m so deep into this, I just have to bite the bullet and power through. This should be a very happy occasion. I must be positive about it.

Oh and if I remember, I’ll post a video or at least some photos of me rolling a pineapple into the house the day I collect my keys! In case you’re curious, pineapple sounds like “fortune awaits” in one of our dialects here. So many chinese (more of a superstition thing with our race) homeowners will actually roll a pineapple into their new home while shouting “HUAT AH!” (prosper!) hahaha… It’s so kitsch and ridiculous-sounding as I’m typing this out but hey, better to be a believer and have the good things come my way, no?

xoxoxoxo.

One step closer to Home.

I’m sure you all have been waiting with bated breath for some updates 😂. And I do have some. Before I get all excited and bore you once again with details that are probably only exciting to me, I need to tell you all this- Only my immediate family and literally four friends know about this. I have not told other people, not even my relatives or some of my close friends. The four friends, one being X will obviously hear about everything I do in my life first-hand. The other three, happened to ask me about it, therefore I revealed.

So what I wanted to share is…. I am a home owner! Well about 90% lol. I’m near the final stages, now am just waiting for the housing board to confirm my purchase, do up all the legal stuff, then part with an obscene amount of cash. Sobs.

Just a little while after my last post, where I was resigned to the fact that I might have to wait a couple of years more, did I stumble onto this posting. The price was lower than the few properties that I viewed in the vicinity, still near enough to all major amenities, and I’m now a stone throw away from X. I brought my mum to view the flat in person, and she said she liked it better than the previous one I brought her to.

So began the negotiations. I decided to go in at a slightly higher price so that I didn’t have to play that stupid game of “who can bid more” with other potential buyers. Which had its pros and cons. Obviously I was the highest bidder so yay to that. But when the housing board sent their valuer down, that’s when it almost became a nay.

In my last post I talked about the option fee of $1000. So that I paid. And then the valuation came back. I offered way too much than what the flat is actually worth. At this point, you cannot renegotiate the prices with the seller. It’s either you pay the difference (from what you offered vs valuation price), or forego your $1000.

I was so close to giving up. Everyone around me said that that was too much to pay in cash. I will have to pay 5% of what I offered, plus the difference in valuation. That came up to a total of more than $50,000. It was staggeringly eye-watering. But I thought about it. If I gave it up, the next apartment I like would face a similar situation. And how many $1000s would I have to give? Plus, even though my offer was way too much, it was still well within the initial budget that I set. With property prices soaring now, I might not be able to get it at this kind of prices again.

So I bit the bullet and decided to push forward with it. I will have to take a renovation loan for sure and even then, I will minimise major renovations and just do what is necessary. And I probably have to buy my furniture and appliances in batches because these things add up too.

But well, I made the bed I’ll have to sleep in it. I’m excited yet a bit sad. All my almost 37 years, I’ve been living with my family where it’s always lively and suddenly I’ll be alone. I’m quite sure I will cry the day I officially move out. Lol.

It’s projected that I’ll only get the keys in September, and looking at the pandemic with the shortage of workers, I hope I can start reno promptly. I hope hope hope I can move in by Christmas. Fingers crossed!

xoxoxoxo.

Still a long way Home.

So obviously I’ve gotten soooo lazy seeing that my last post was months ago. Just a quick update on my search for Home. Since my last post on it in Feb, things have been moving very slowly. I think crawling is a more appropriate word to use. Anyway I have to forewarn you that this post is going to be very yawn-inducing because most of you might not even know what I’m talking about lol, but I really just need an outlet to rant.

I’ve settled some admin stuff like a bank loan, submitting my intent to buy etc. I’ve also started looking at properties. I really did consider many factors including those of my naysayers. I’ve looked at six apartments so far, liked a couple more than others but have not put in my option to purchase for various reasons.

It’s a really stressful time for me because I didn’t realise how much cash I’d have to potentially cough out upfront. There’s the 5% of whatever price I buy an apartment for because I can only take a bank loan (the government board for housing will not lend me money because I’ve reached their supposed income ceiling), and there’s little things that add up like stamp duty, option to purchase blah blah. The scariest of all is this thing called Cash Over Valuation (COV).

So how this shit works is for example I decide to purchase an apartment. I’d have to negotiate with the seller and let’s say the agreed price is $400k. After that I’d have to pay the owner ~$1k+ just to submit my option to purchase. Then someone from HDB (the housing gov board) will send someone over to do a valuation of the flat. They will look at factors such as location, condition of the flat, past transactions in the same block etc and come up with their valuation. So if they decide that this flat is actually worth $450k, I’d have to pay the balance of $50k IN COLD HARD CASH. This is scary because you won’t know how wide the range could be. They came up with this stupid rule because in the past, buyers and sellers would negotiate so that it drove property prices up, that’s why the valuation is now only done after you have placed an option.

And should I decide that $50k is too much to pay, I can stop the transaction but the $1k+ I paid earlier would be forfeited. And this whole process would start all over again if I decide on another flat.

So now I’m deeply regretting all the beautiful clothes, bags and shoes that I have bought over the years. If only I was more prudent I wouldn’t be half as stressed as I am right now. As a result of this, I haven’t slept well in months and that’s why I’m typing this at 3am in the morning.

My conclusion still maintains. This adulting thing is hard. It sucks. I really think I’ll never be able to move out on my own.

xoxoxoxo.

Are you happy?

I’ve been hanging out quite a bit with X recently. Mainly because I’m currently taking one of his classes (only two more left! *sobs*) and we have this unspoken rule about hanging out after. We usually take turns to decide to what to have for dinner and we always end up back at his place just to chill and hang out.

He’s been going through quite a bit recently and he shared that he’s getting unhappier by the day because of these problems. Which came to me as a shock because while I know that he’s stressed, I didn’t realise it was to this extent. And then he asked me if I was happy. I took some moments to ponder, and said yes. I mean, other than my diabetes and how it may go downhill that is always at the back of my mind, I think I’m quite happy with my current lot. Especially because I know I can count on him to support me if shit does happen. And it’s going to sound terrible but, I’m happier when he’s around. Not just physically, but whenever we’re just “together”.

And then the conversation turned slightly morbid. Because we’re both getting older, it’s only normal that more and more people we know will get old/sick and leave us. I voiced my concern on how I was afraid he would fall into depression if his Godma were to leave one day and I wouldn’t be able to get him out of it. He assured me he would be ok should that day comes. But who knows right, he can say all he wants now. Then I told him, if the day comes that he should go before me, that would be it. I don’t think I will be able to pull myself out of it. He joked that I shouldn’t let my friends know where his final resting place is then because they would come wreak havoc.

A little back story. So you know ALL my friends hate him because they think he’s been leading me on despite me repeating over and over again that it’s all me because I refuse to go despite him telling me how he wants to be single forever. The final straw for them came when I voiced the idea of moving away from where I’ve lived all my life to be near him. Of course that is not the main reason. But you can guess how no one will listen to the other reasons I have the moment they hear about how near he will be to me.

So I told him all these (on hindsight I shouldn’t have), and we now have this running joke on how the entire neighbourhood (because most of my friends live in the East with me) hates him because of me.

He’s the only person (ok and maybe his mother) who is very excited about the prospect of me being his “neighbour”. So I am very torn. On one hand, I’m a bit miffed with all my friends and family because shouldn’t they be happy for me that I’m starting a new chapter of my life? Even if they cannot understand me, the least they could do is to keep their negative and nasty comments to themselves. On the other hand, a little voice in my head asks what if they are right? What if I regret moving so far away? And since it’s a huge investment I cannot just up and return but live with the regret. That is, if I regret.

So yes. I am happy. Especially when I’m with him. Every little silly thing he does makes me smile. Every moment we spend together my heart sings. Every light in my body glows with him around. I am more than happy. I am contented.

xoxoxoxo.

A long way to Home.

Hello friends, it’s been such a long time again. I’m still alive (obviously), nothing particularly exciting or terrible has happened but just thought I’d share what I’ve been kinda up to recently.

So over here where I live, housing is very very expensive. And I’m not even talking about an actual house house. About 80% of our population reside in flats built by the government, and most people from across the world would probably relate to the word apartment. An average apartment (we call them 4 room flats) with three bedrooms, two baths, a kitchen and a living room would usually range between S$300,000 to S$500,000. They are usually between 700 to 1000 sq ft, and the price can fluctuate depending on district and location. In some prime locations or those with bigger units, the price can cross over a million dollars. I’m not shitting you.

Not only are they horribly expensive, they even discriminate singles like me. If you’re single, even if you had all the money in the world (and then you can buy a condominium apartment or landed property) and would like to purchase public housing, you can only do so when you’re 35. Funny isn’t it, how they would allow say a young couple with no money to buy a home in their twenties when they have just started their careers, but deny a fairly financial comfortable person just because we are not a typical family unit. 🙄

Not only do they shun us singles like we have the plague, but we are also restricted in terms of the kind of flats we are allowed to buy. If we want to buy a new development, we can only buy the leftovers (that no young couples want) and we’re also limited to a two room flat- one bedroom one living room). So many of us are left to look at resale flats (those already occupied for years and years). These, plus some other restrictions.

So because I’m eligible to buy something of my own now, I’ve been looking. And omg this adulting thing is difficult. I have barely scratched the surface and I’ve also faced a couple of road blocks. Did you also know you cannot just buy any flat you fancy even if you meet all the above requirements? There’s also a thing called ethnicity quota. That means for example, the maximum % for each main ethnic group has been set per block of flats, and if you happen to be in the majority group (like me), you can only buy a flat from your own race if the quota in the block has been maxed out.

At this rate plus skyrocketing prices (what pandemic? What economic slow-down?!), I may have to live with my parents till I’m 50 or something. And I can’t even buy a flat in the neighbourhood I grew up in because I live in a mature estate with great amenities so prices in this area are crazy too.

I may have to move to the boondocks. Watch this space for my house-hunting (mis)adventures.

xoxoxoxo.

Unhappy Birthday.

Hello hello hello! I seem to have lost interest in writing for awhile and I’m not sure why. Many things have happened but I couldn’t really be bothered to update. I’ve had very good times and quite bad ones which is perhaps why I’ve been feeling overwhelmed.

I didn’t even bother writing about my birthday, and you all know how seriously I take birthdays. I had many many celebrations and get-togethers with multiple friends, and for that I’m full of gratitude. To be honest, I’m not a very nice person (and I’m definitely not fishing for compliments here). Not that I go around kicking little animals or am cruel, but my short temper makes me feel very guilty and like a horrible person after each episode. I’ve been making a conscious effort to curb that, but progress has been slow.

I was actually very disappointed by X who almost forgot about my birthday (my birthday dinner was planned for a couple of days after) and did not send me a text like he usually would. He only realised it very late in the afternoon after I told him I was at high tea (which triggered him to remember because he knew about my actual birthday plans). And on the day of my birthday dinner, he kept me waiting for one hour and 15 minutes even though he initially told me he’d take just 15 minutes. I was hopping mad and very nearly wanted to leave but obviously I didn’t. So our dinner was marred by my dark shadow of gloom for awhile. I mean, anyone would be angry in my shoes right? If you needed more time, just tell me and I could go grab a cup of coffee and read my book. But telling me you’d be done in 15, yet making me wait for more than an hour in my car is really unacceptable right?!

I had to swallow my anger because I really didn’t want our dinner to end up badly. And when we were driving through town after dinner, I was wowed by the Christmas lights, so he suggested we park somewhere and take a walk to enjoy the lights.

Reflection of one of the street decorations from a puddle.

Honestly, the lights looked much better if you were driving down the road than walking along the street lol.

And I had the biggest surprise after. He actually bought me a birthday present! The first in eight years! On hindsight, this is rather sad. I know he doesn’t do this whole present thingy, but the first in so many years really seem a little pathetic. Yet again I had to remind myself to manage my expectations and I chose this path in life. He bought me two bars of soap. Yes you read right. It’s some handmade, organic stuff, but still. I should thank my lucky stars I even got a present in the first place.

So you can say my birthday ended in an anti-climax. I had so many joyous gatherings and it was all building up to his. And then I was so disappointed by the whole chain of events. Which in turn made me angry with myself because as usual I’ve placed too much hope and emphasis on him that I discounted the other nice things my friends and family did for me.

Will I ever tire of this non-relationship relationship? Will I ever be able to move on with my life without him? Will I ever put my foot down and say enough is enough?

xoxoxoxo.

The birthday reveal.

So we went for dinner as planned on Saturday, but he didn’t want to celebrate his birthday anymore because he said our little party on Wednesday was so memorable that he wanted to remember it that way and not to dilute it. So he said we could celebrate other things instead. I was mainly just rolling my eyes because as you know by now, I celebrate each time I get to meet him lol.

Our reservation was at 6.30pm and we arrived the hotel early, so I decided to pass him his present in the car.

To you who have been also waiting for this big reveal since July, here it is! Silly me forgot to take a single picture of the pages. Very slightly annoyed with myself. These pictures are from him as I requested.

I wrote him a book if you haven’t already guessed. The ‘S’ represents us both, as both our first names start with that letter, and it’s a book filled with stories about us the past eight years. I can only thank god that I’m an over-sharer, because I had to rely heavily on my old blog posts to refresh some of my memories. Writing this “book” was both fun and tedious. Fun because I got to look back at our memories, even some seemingly forgotten ones. Tedious because everything is hand-written and I had to try to make everything as consistent as possible.

I had to rewrite one entry because I decided not to cram everything together, and just the day before I presented it to him, I decided to remove an entry (something very similar to my Dear X post), so I barely cheated. I thought I had to rip out more pages because the paper never seemed to end haha. In the last 10 pages or so, I filled them with all the photos of us together. Sadly, in the past eight years we’ve known each other, we only have about 20 pictures or so.

When I gave it to him, after a few clues and guesses, he got it right. I’m not sure if he was lying to me, but he said he really liked the present (note he said really like and not love). He said it was one of the best presents he had ever received because it was very meaningful and that it came from the heart. Needless to say, I was smiling soooo widely it was as if someone shoved a hanger up into my mouth.

He was supposed to read the card first, but he asked if he could read it at home instead because he was afraid he would cry. Yah. As if. This dude has the emotional range of an inanimate object. At least in front of me. He’s always so calm and collected as if nothing could faze him.

We had a dinner that lasted more than four hours and by then, both of us were stifling our yawns haha. So I was part glad part disappointed that I was not invited for tea. But the disappointment quickly disappeared when I was driving, thinking about how I was dying to get home to shower and lie on my bed.

So overall, I’m glad I managed to complete the book almost on time, and I think I was more than happy at his reaction at receiving it. It would be nice for him to read these stories about us from my perspective (though I’m quite sure he will want to refute on a couple of stories at least after he reads them).

Happy birthday closure, X! I’m so glad I had you all to myself this milestone. And of course, I love you, forever and a day.

xoxoxoxo.

Happy 40th, X.

X turned 40 yesterday. I had applied for leave from work for two days because I didn’t know if we were going to meet. But then we made dinner plans for this Saturday instead, after our figure drawing class. And he was supposed to have dinner with his mother too. I have to warn you that this will probably be a very lengthy post because I would like to remember every detail of the wonderful evening we spent together.

So anyway, I surprised him a cake in the morning through some devious questioning on his favourite cake the weekend before and had it delivered to him. Also, I knew he likely wasn’t going to get a cake from his family, thus that decision. Plus, his birthday project is not complete (I’m rushing out the final details), so that’s also a prelude of sorts.

Then suddenly, he told me that he was postponing dinner with his mum. So I proposed to have breakfast with him (because he had an afternoon class to teach), but he declined and asked if we wanted to move our dinner to yesterday instead. But I said no because… I didn’t want to skip my workout lol. On hindsight, that’s such a callous thing to say. I mean, it’s not his birthday everyday, much less him approaching a new decade of his life, and I prioritise exercising over him? Lolol.

But the more I thought about it, the worse I felt. So I asked if he wanted to meet for coffee in the evening instead. And then he tells me that since we weren’t planning to meet, he didn’t trim his facial hair so he didn’t want me to see him in that state. UGH. But I pushed for it because I said no one one should have to spend their birthday alone. He said he’d think about it and let me know. So I went out to run errands (also part of his birthday project) and suddenly, this dude texts me at four plus pm, asking if I could reach our National Gallery by six because there was an exhibition he wanted to see. Mind you, the venue shuts at seven.

And so I had to rush! Rushed home, quickly pressed my clothes, had a quick shower and zoomed out of the house and drove speedily to pick him from school. And then we drove to the museum which was nearby. But what a waste of time. That exhibition turned out to be one of those contemporary shit (I’m sorry but I really dislike contemporary art because most of them are bullshit) that we were mainly sniggering at. But we did have fun making jokes about them.

We went for a simple dinner where I only ate half a plate of my favourite chicken rice (in my haste to leave the house I forgot my insulin pen). And then I sent him home early because he wanted to cut the cake with his mother.

I mentioned before that he’s a bit of a hypochondriac and he had previously set very strict rules of not allowing any visitors to his home as long as this pandemic is rampant. And I respect that because to each their own, and I understand the severity and impact of the consequences if we let our guard down.

So he suggested that we enjoy the cake together in the park near his place, which I agreed since it was a nice cool night. But then, maybe he felt a little bad too (but not enough to break his own rules), because he suggested we set up an alfresco corner outside his house instead. To be honest, he could invite me to sit at the dumpster with him and I would still have gleefully accepted.

It turned out to be a very nice set up as he only has one neighbour so there was tons of privacy, and we were surrounded by his plants. He brought the cake out and I insisted we needed to light all four candles (he wanted to light just one for token sake). And what was more appalling was that he wanted to just blow out the candles without the birthday song!

I don’t know exactly how birthdays were celebrated in his household, but back at mine, the birthday boy or girl are made to feel special, and I felt that he should be made to feel that way too. He told me just the other day that growing up, birthdays were not big deals and rarely celebrated, so he never felt special. So once again, I made his mother and brother sing the birthday song with me, ensured he made a wish, took photos for him and with him before he blew out his candles.

And then our little party of two got going. His mum and brother retreated back into the house, with his mother feeling very bad that I was not invited into to sit, but I assured her I was ok. I previously bought these hair bands that had “happy birthday” emblazoned on the top, as well as these ridiculously looking birthday-themed glasses. We took silly pictures wearing them. From eight plus we chatted, and we said we would end at midnight. We had new conversations which left me feeling hopeful, a little sad all at the same time. Perhaps one day, I’ll tell you what they were about. One coffee led to a second cup of tea, and before we knew it it was one thirty in the morning. My eyes were so heavy at this point because even though I was on leave and planned on sleeping in late, my body woke me up as if I had work.

So I drove myself home and we chatted for a bit more. Even though he kept saying he didn’t care about celebrating his birthday, I think he enjoyed his evening as much as me. And that’s the best reward for me. Seeing him so happy made me extremely happy as well. In fact I was feeling so over the moon that it seemed like my birthday instead.

I can’t wait to see him again this Saturday for the proper birthday treat as well as presenting him with his present. Still not sure how he will feel about it, but I just hope he sees the effort that I have put into it since July. I’m just so glad that is finally over because I have been stressing over it for months.

Happy 40th birthday once again X. I hope this birthday was as memorable for you as it was for me. I love you forever and a day!

Since he’s disguised here, I’ll share a picture of us.

You’re only the best I ever had.

My eyelids are so heavy as I’m typing this, but I feel that today deserves to be archived. So I slept only about four hours last night, probably due to the excitement of seeing X in class and our dinner “date” after.

So mission rescue-him-from-psycho-bitch went fairly well, I made sure that I was by his side the entire time, never leaving him alone with her. In a few weeks, she’d probably suspect or find out why I’m always hanging around him (no one in class knows that we’re friends), but till that day comes, I will do my part for him.

We went for a simple dinner, explored a revamped hotel (NOT the bedrooms lol), and went for some tea and dessert. So other than the three hours we spent in class, our “date” lasted about six hours, including me dropping him off back at home. And then, we spent another three hours texting each other.

That’s how we are. We can still chat non-stop even after eight years, but yet he sees me nothing more than a good friend.

Today, we talked about our friends. He’s only met a couple of mine, and vice versa. And I told him that if he was ever willing to meet more of them, I’d proudly do so because I want to let more people know about this talented, kind, generous person. And he said many people do not think highly of artists in general, often looking down or belittling them, so why would I be eager to show him off? Well, regardless of what people think, I would still be very proud of him. And those people who dare sneer at him, will face my wrath.

What was surprising to hear though, was him saying he only has two friends, myself and his god sister. He went on to tell me that he only texts/chats with his godmother (who has moved back to Paris), her daughter (said god sister) and me. I know he’s exaggerating because sometimes he’s sooo busy on his phone. But he says we are the only people whom he will share his personal life with. My heart must have somersaulted with joy. Reading between the lines (because you know we women love doing that), I feel a bit better knowing that there’s no other women in his life that he’s sharing things with. Of course I have zero right to be jealous, but it kinda alleviates my fears of the presence of another woman.

I also told him a little about my dating history, about these couple of guys who kept on trying despite me saying no. As I was regaling him with these stories, it suddenly hit me. IT’S KARMA! Whatever I did/said to reject those guys, is similar to what he’s doing to me! I was honestly quite mortified. But we did have a good laugh over it.

Yes, our relationship is weird like that. He knows I’m very into him, and he has made his stand clear, and I know it as well. Sometimes we even delve quite deep into it. Just the other day, I told him that I will never hop onto another person’s car (metaphorically) because the only ride I want is his. He told me gently that his car will never accept passengers, and that I should not miss the cars that want to let me hitch a ride. Being stubborn is another wonderful trait of mine as you can see.

This man is my best friend. He’s my soul mate. I love him to pieces even though it’s not reciprocal. And I think, he’s the best I’ll ever have. Have-ish.

xoxoxoxo.