Old but gold. 

Past midnight where I am, so I would like to wish my elder sister a very happy birthday!

I feel like I’ve probably wrote something similar before, but I want to tell everybody what an awesome sister I have. 

My sister is two years older than me, and like all younger siblings, I always wanted to be joined at her hip. Can’t say the same for her though hahaha. When we were young, there was only the two of us for the longest time, so obviously I idolised her. Every where she went, I’d want to follow. Even to birthday parties of her classmates who I didn’t really know. Of course she protested, but my mother always got the upper hand by saying she can’t go if she didn’t bring me along so she really didn’t have much of a choice haha. Till this day, she never fails to remind me what a pest I was. Actually, she still thinks I’m annoying but I think she secretly loves it. 

She’s always got my back too (even though she denied knowing me when we were in primary school because I was always getting into fights lol). She told my ex to fuck off when he was being a prick (and I actually screamed at her for that and am sorry to this day), she silently watches my friends and reminds me who are the jerks and who are the keepers. 

She entertains all those around her with her wicked sense of humour and is an extremely generous person who doesn’t sweat the small stuff. 

Of course she’s not perfect and sometimes I get really really annoyed by her, but on the whole, I’d have to say she’s the best older sister one can ever ask for, and I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world. 

She hates any form of open affection though and sometimes I say “I love you” to her just for shits and giggles and to watch her shudder. Actually our family is not very affectionate and I shudder slightly on the inside too occasionally hahahaha. We may not pepper our thoughts with words of love or hugs, but we do love each other in our own ways. 

So A, I really am thankful that you’re my sister and that you put up with me for more than three decades (omg we sound so old! 😭😭 Weren’t we just children a while ago?!), not that you have had much of a choice hahaha. I wish only the best for you, because that’s what the best deserves! I LOVE YOU!!! 🙆🏻🙆🏻🙆🏻


Just returned from a weekend getaway to Bangkok late last night and I’m still knackered. Four days of shopping, eating, drinking and getting burnt by the merciless sun. It’s a good thing I had the foresight to take a day off today to recuperate. Man, am I tired. 

I had to wake up at 4am on Friday morning to wash my hair and head to the airport running only on two hours of sleep, and not forgetting I had a full day of work the day before. That will explain why my eye bags are as big as my eyes. 
I got the bigger room because I’m the only girl and guys have this thing about not being able to share a bed with another guy. I wonder why. Our apartment was quite cosy, and I really appreciate all that space I had. ​


We went shopping the moment we dropped our bags, and can I say, I shopped the least amongst us three. Buying a carton of instant noodles was one of the highlights for me. People who know me know that instant noodles are my life. I know they are really bad for health and stuff, but it’s my source of comfort food and no one can stop me, not especially when they only cost S$0.20 per packet! So I bought 50 packets hahahaha. 

Went to this really beautiful bar/ distillery at night and I really loved the place. The ambience was great, the music was fitting, and the drinks delicious. I lamented to the boys that if I brought a date instead of them, I would so want to make up with said fictional date because it was that fitting. And I’m not even a romantic person. 

(This will probably the last picture of me with a “clean” back because my tattoo appointment is just around the corner.)

We did more shopping on day two and the primary reason why we went was to party, so party we did. 

Tired from all the late nights, we took it easy on the third day (with more shopping lol). â€‹



And my haul for the trip. Not pictured here are some t-shirts that I bought for family, three pairs of sandals and some snacks. But really, I don’t think I’ve met another girl who goes to Bangkok and buys so little. Day four and homaigawd I’m so tired and ready to go home. Coming back, people were sniggering when my carton of noodles came rolling out while being tagged as priority baggage and a “fragile” sticker. Laugh all you want people, but I’m the one having the last laugh. ​​

​xoxoxoxo. ​

Teething problems. 

I never really paid much attention to my teeth other than the usual daily brushing and flossing (guilty of skiving off sometimes) because well, even though it’s shameless to praise myself, I do think my teeth are quite nice. They are tidy and neat, and should be where they should be, all these without needing any assistance from braces or retainers. 

So last December, I visited my dentist and while cleaning my teeth he asked me a couple of questions. “Are you stressed at work?”, Yes. “Do you not have quality sleep?”, Yes. “Do you wake up several times during the night for no reason at all?”, Yes. “Have you noticed that you have a perpetual raised line on either side of your inner cheek?”, Yes. 

And then came the shocker. Because of constant stress, my jaws clamp with tension even in my sleep (I get it during the day too, just that I make a conscious effort to try to relax and unclamp them), and my teeth grind. As a result, my teeth has deteriorated greatly in just one year (also guilty of not seeing him every six months like I should). 

In an attempt to solve this, I was suckered in forking out $500 for a night guard. Apparently wearing it to sleep will “reset” the muscle memory of my jaw and keep them unclenched. I’ve been wearing them for a week now. Not sure if I’m showing signs of a placebo effect, but I really do sleep much better these days. Other than waking up to pee occasionally, I actually sleep through most nights fitfully. Until my alarm reminds me that it’s time to wake up for work that is. 

However, I’m slightly disturbed by something. The outer shell of this night guard is made from hard acrylic, as it’s supposed to act as a protective layer, while the inner layer is made from a slightly softer material because it moulds and fits my teeth. As soon as after the first night, I found some little dents on the outer shell, and they have increased in numbers and depth since. Obviously I’m still clenching my jaws when I sleep but the strength of them is slightly disconcerting. 

I’m not sure because this is my first time I’m seeking professional help for my dental health, but is this normal?

Also, I think I broke part of my molar. Don’t ask me how I managed that. It started when I heard and felt a crunch while eating one day and since then, even when drinking water, it seeps in and it hurts. I just did an x-ray recently but we couldn’t find anything. The dentist said it might be a hairline crack and that’s why it’s not visible yet. However after dinner tonight, I felt that something was lodged there and after digging around (sorry, but no glam way of describing that), it seems that a part of my tooth has broken off, but the root part of it is still stuck in my gums. Great. 

Best of all, my dentist doesn’t work everyday. Should I wait two days to hopefully try to get a slot or just wing it and try any random guy?

Is this all part and parcel of growing older? Like you know, things start breaking down and showing more signs of wear and tear? This adult business is tough. I don’t want to grow up. 


Heart skips, skips a beat. 

March already! Soon, I’ll be typing my posts from my rocking chair in a nursing home… In case anyone was wondering, I’ve been busy with work and stuff. So busy I just want to cocoon myself in come weekends. 

I miss X terribly. The last time I saw him in the flesh was maybe at least six months ago. I joke that we’re like the Cowherd and Weaving Girl who only get to meet on that bridge once a year (it’s a Chinese folklore, you can Google it if you’re interested). You know, there are so many things about him that irks me, but more that makes my heart so full I feel it’s bursting. I wanted to say skip a beat, but that would mean I have arrhythmia lol. 


Of course I’d rather much tell him things face to face, but any form of communication is better than none I guess. I love how he always encourages me and cheers me up. He’s forever so supportive in my decisions. He’s fiercely defensive of me, hating people whom I dislike even more than me. And even though he’s sometimes having a bad day, he never forgets to ask how mine went. And when he’s having a bad day, he tends to throw mini tantrums and seek comfort which I find soooo endearing. It could just be because I’m so smitten but still. He always says things which makes me believe I’m the literary genius he makes me out to be (I’m no where near). And I really have to reiterate the following point over and over again till Kingdom comes. Best of all, he tolerates my bratty self when I give him attitude (whether or not he was the cause of my anger). 

Sometimes life is like deciding on a set meal. Perhaps Set A has an amazing appetiser but the main course is blah, and maybe Set B has your ideal starter and mains, but the dessert which you really wanted to eat is something you absolutely detest. So I think it’s all a matter of compromise and weighing on what you want more. 

I think it’s quite clear what I’ve chosen even though I whine about his shortcomings every now and then, and how everybody keeps urging me to move on because this is obviously going nowhere and probably never will. 

But it’s ok. I can’t really eat desserts anyway right? 

Useless fact #72: Do you know, that this Friday, will be five years since our paths first crossed? How has it been five years?!


Winner winner, chicken dinner. 

Happy Singles’ Awareness Day once again! I’m so consistent I’m actually mildly proud of it. 

Speaking of singles, the boys and I say or do pretty dumb things at times, and Saturday seemed to have topped the charts for now. I don’t remember who brought it up, or why we were talking about it, but maternal instincts and biological clocks came into the picture. I vehemently denied wanting any children ever (you know how I cringe at that thought), and the boys insisted otherwise. I’m very surprised because even though we had some years lapsed between us, I’ve been anti-children since they knew me 17 years ago (fuck, does this make me sound old or what). 

But noooo, they were as sure as the sun will shine tomorrow morning that I’d be a mother to at least a couple of little monsters one day. And I threw the question back to them. And their answers left my jaw hanging. Apparently they ALL want to be fathers some day! Ok. Maybe I don’t know them as well as I think I do. Like, what’s going to happen to me when they all settle down and leave me by my lonesome self??? Homaigawd. 

So anyway, we were going back and forth about the future of my uterus and we came up with this stupid bet. They are very confident that I’ll be a mother by the end of 2019. But then they started cheating. They said even if I adopt a cat, or become someone’s godmother I would lose. Seriously, who makes up such ridiculous rules?! It ties back to my “maternal instincts”. And the stakes are 10 bottles of gin (later upped to Martell) that are to be shared amongst us, sponsored by the loser. 

Okayyyy. I don’t know about them but I’m pretty confident these bottles will belong on my shelf. Logically speaking, we’re halfway into quarter one of 2017. That means to fulfill the bet (putting the cat rule aside), I’d have to 1) find a man, 2) charm the pants off each other, 3) plan a wedding, 4) be married, 5) conceive, and 6) finally give birth. All within a span of two years give and take. 

Seriously. I’m laughing as I type at the incredulity of it all. I think they’ve forgotten the most important point here. I’m fucking consistent. If I can be single since…. (hold on I’m really counting) 2005 (wait WHAT?! Holy fuck!!), what makes them think I’ll accomplish six impossible tasks in such a short time?

Let’s all wait and see. Let the countdown begin. Am going to sit back and wait for my 10 bottles to fall into my lap. 


My tattoo journey- Part three. 

Omg guys. There originally wasn’t a part three to this! But the road to completing this tattoo is so fraught with obstacles I’m starting to wonder if the stars are trying to tell me something. 

The original original plan was to start on it in January, but my tattoo artist had some issues with her back so we postponed it. Then the date was set for last weekend and I went all the way only to find out that she couldn’t start because she found more issues!

See the dip/indentation across my spinal area? Yah that’s the problem. Because if we place the pin-up girl right smack in the middle of the diamond, her face is going to end up right where the dip is. And you can imagine how weird she’d look. Like maybe she’d look like a melted wax figure. Eeewwww. 

While I’m extremely relieved that this was spotted before we started, it still is a tad frustrating. And guess what, because of that dip, we are now going to have to make the tattoo even bigger. So her suggestion was to add some stuff (like maybe flowers) on either side of the diamond, and then the girls will be perched on the edge of each side. Holy guacamole. I did tell her I have zero interest in flowers actually, but seeing as how “vintage” each element is, that seems to be the only way out. If the overall effect ties together nicely, I wouldn’t mind it at all. We’ll have to wait and see her final sketches. 

So now, my appointment has been pushed to close to end of March. And I’m just a little concerned about the size. So because of the extension, not only will the entire tattoo be big in terms of length, but width too. And you can see that I have a fairly wide surface area to begin with. Imagine my entire lower back filled. Yup, that’s the size we’re gunning for because any smaller, and the girls’ facial features and finger details would be all smooshed up. I did however tell her that I want to keep the tattoo below the bra line for certain reasons (i.e my mother flipping). I’m very very sure she’d flip anyway. But let’s try to minimise antagonising her haha. 

While I was fully prepared at how tall the tattoo would be when I first set my mind to doing it, the lapse in years made me get used to what I have now. I have a very strong feeling that I’d love it when it’s completed, but I think trying to imagine my back being coloured and filled up in backless items of clothings might need some getting used to. 

Don’t worry. I don’t do things only to regret them later (except for that one blip in my life which shall never be brought up again), and I definitely won’t do things that I’m unsure of. This was something that I really wanted since years ago and it was just unfortunate that it dragged on for longer than it should. And of course, from now till my appointment, should I have any form of hesitation, I’ll pull the plug on it (which shouldn’t happen unless the final sketches are not up my alley). After all, this is going to be a part of me for the rest of my life and I will remain committed to it. 

You know what’s most agonising? The waiting. I keep prepping myself for the pain and healing period and it keeps on not happening. I’m no spring chicken anymore. My heart cannot take such excitement time and again. The countdown begins. Again. 


Are we there yet?

Time is just whizzing by it’s unbelievable. February already! The lunar new year debauchery has kinda ended for me and I couldn’t be more glad.

Year after year, it has become more of a duty and a chore instead of it being a time of revelry. The thing I enjoy most is the dressing up because I get to buy more clothes. I don’t even get that many red packets anymore and the snacking is overrated too. And because gambling is not my cup of tea, I’m basically left with watching my toe nails grow. Inspiring. 

So let’s talk about happier times. Like my clothes for example. This year, I narrowed my list down to two dresses. 

Both were awesome (but of course), but the cobalt blue one actually had zero votes! Both my sisters said that it was too formal and one of them even went as far as asking if I was going for prom. Pffftttt. 

So the red it was. Another reason why I myself was more for the red was because once my tattoo gets done, this dress will show bits of it and you all know what my empress dowager mother will say about that…… Was also sadly wearing old shoes and no new bag (was this close to buying one but told myself NO). Oh I must also show you my nails which were specially done for the occasion. 

Fortune Cat yo. Please bring me lots of money and luck. X didn’t like it though. Said it was too kiddish and so not me. What is he talking about? I’m like the ruler for all things cute. He still doesn’t understand me apparently. 🙄🙄

One for the family album. See the resemblance of my mother to my grandmother? 😂😂 Hmmm people always say I look like my mother so homaigawd I’m actually looking at my future. 😭😬😱

Day one of CNY was so uneventful I was home and all showered and became one with the sofa by 11pm. Yah you read that right. Actually I was glad it ended early. All those questions about why I’m still single reared it’s ugly head at me. 

“Why no boyfriend?”

“You always go out drinking, why no luck/chemistry?”

“Your younger cousins are all settling down!”

“Who’s that guy who’s in your photos? Not him?”

Oh god. 

At one point, one of my godmothers came over and whispered to me that she’d really like to see me get married and attending my wedding before she’s gone one day. Wow no pressure there. Such a guilt trip. I hate it. Why can’t everybody just leave me alone? 

This was day two’s outfit. I lurrvvveeee my cat top. Actually bought this one and a half years ago but needed a high waisted skirt to go with it because hello tummy flabs! Guess what. The empress dowager actually complimented my entire outfit! The number of times she has done that are so few and far between. X also said that my skirt was a winner. Wow. Twice in a day from usually critical people. Must be my lucky day. 

Ended my day with the boys. K invited us to his home to drink (what else) and I maybe won 20 bucks from gambling lol. Went home too late (6am) and as usual, regretted some life decisions. I never seem to learn. Spent the whole of yesterday dragging my feet around being sullen at the thought of having to go back to work again and then WHAM! February hits me in the face. 

Once again, I seem to have much to do with so little time. Busy I am. 


My tattoo journey- Part two. 

***** Continued……*****

On hindsight, I should have realised that the guy wasn’t into doing my tattoo because whatever I gave him, he made no modifications or suggestions. So he went ahead to do the diamond first. Because of my condition, I made sure to wait a year because I didn’t want to take any chances. After that I went back to him to start on the girl. A couple of discussions later, he called me one day and dropped a bomb. He simply said the girl cannot be done because her legs (which were to be over the diamond) would be blue and could not be covered up. I asked for solutions or other suggestions, he just said, “sorry, none.”

Well fuck you. Fuck me. What was I to do now? The diamond on its own and its location just screams out TRAMP STAMP. I did ask around for some recommendations for tattoo artists but I was never really sure. Some artists had great portfolios, but I wasn’t sure if this genre was their cup of tea. The last thing I needed was to ruin it further. 

Therefore, many years lapsed and I almost just gave up. Till I found this artist on Instagram. Her work is awesome and she was skilful in many different genres. She does cute, dainty, fierce, etc., equally well. We’ve had quite a few discussions and she’s so helpful with ideas. She agreed that it was a mistake to do the diamond first. I asked if I should just cover up the whole thing and start from scratch but she said it was still doable and I should stick to it. 

However, to minimise the girl’s legs crossing over the diamond, she suggested doing two girls instead. She sold the idea of the alter ego thingy and I love it. The only “problem” now. It’s going to be a massive piece when it’s completed. Each girl has to be about palm-sized to be able to see her features clearly and proportionate to the diamond. Which also means it will creep onto the upper half of my back. Which is really not an issue for me but…

What that means is the limitation to my wardrobe in some ways. My mother hates all (my sister’s too) our tattoos because she says we are ruining the “perfect” bodies she gave us. She’s old-fashioned like that. She even told us this ludicrous story of how this friend of my parents was after this hot hostess for years, and when she finally accepted him, he turned flaccid the moment she stripped naked and he saw all her tattoos. Like what the fuck. If a man ever dares to judge me like that because of my tattoos then he can go fuck himself. I don’t want a penis that flops so easily either. So, in order not to antagonise her, I’ll either have to cover up or sidle crab-like if I have to pass her. And did I mention I live for open-backed tops and dresses??

Also, when I thought about getting tattoos, I never had the intention of wanting to show it off to the world (unlike some people) and flaunting it. It was always for my own admiration and appreciation. I don’t want to have to tell the story of my tattoo each time someone spots it. But I guess this is still manageable. 

My dream is to actually get a half or quarter sleeve some day. But I’m not sure if this day will ever come because I live in a fairly conservative society where people judge and stereotype you because of how you look. And if I stay in pharma, let’s just say this industry is quite “wholesome”, so I’m not sure if anyone is going to hire me if I look too intimidating. 

But it’s ok. Let’s take one step at a time. After I eventually finish this, I still have quite a few hidden parts of my body to progress. This is so exciting. I can’t believe I’m this close to completing my second one. And, X has also agreed to design something for me in future (even though he shares my mother’s stand on tattoos- to think he’s an artist himself 🙄🙄🙄). 

Watch this space. I’ll update as I move along and may even consider posting some pictures after it heals completely. Now what’s left for me to do is to convince myself that the pain is my friend. The pain is my friend. 


My tattoo journey- Part one. 

So I promised to tell you the story of my tattoos in the last post, so tell I shall. I’ve always been captivated by tattoos since I was a teenager and watching shows like Miami Ink, LA Ink, Kat von D, and the likes of it made me want them even more. But I also didn’t want to jump into it (like flip the “catalogue” and go that’s it!) and regret later- after all, it’s going to be on me forever. 

So, as typical as it sounds, my first was my name on my right hip. My logic was that if I drowned in the sea one day and the fishes nibbled my face off, at least I would still be identifiable (didn’t think that maybe they would eat my body first haha). And, I’m narcissistic. I love my name. It’s a great name I think. If I remember right, I was 22 or 23. I have no regrets. However, it’s not very well done because the dude apparently went beyond the first layer so I actually have a couple of keloids where the thicker parts of the letters are. I didn’t have any reference because it was my first, but I remember the healing period to be excruciating and extra scabby (like how you skin your knees deep). The second artist took one look and said the guy went way in too deep (no dirty thoughts here please). 

Not that the second dude was any better to be honest. I went to him because he was featured many a times in our local paper and was kind of a like a celebrity. So high hopes I had. At that point in my life, I was dealt with blow after blow after blow. I wanted something to represent strength. Really liked the idea of a Phoenix (you know, that whole rising from the ashes thingy…), but I’m Asian. And getting a Phoenix would almost automatically put me into the category of an ah lian. I can’t quite explain this term, but it’s kind of a derogatory term, stereotyping a female as uncouth, and brash and gangster-ish. Something like that. Yeah, we Asians can’t get certain tattoos without being judged. Like if a Caucasian person got a lotus or a peony, it would be so rad, but an Asian- wham! Ah Lian or Ah Beng (the male version). 

Sorry. Back to my tattoo. So I had this brilliant idea of a diamond because diamonds are the hardest of all materials (or one of the hardest). And, a pin-up girl (to represent myself) would sit on it like a stool! And so I did lots of research to see what I liked or didn’t like and had a discussion with the artist. Right before we started, he suggested that we do it in two sessions (part one diamond, part two girl) because 1) it would be very expensive to do it all at once, 2) he was concerned that I wouldn’t be able to take the pain because of how large the completed piece would be. 

Of course I agreed. I mean, he’s the expert. Who am I to disagree with him, right? WRONG. I COULDN’T BE WRONGER (so wrong I have to use a non-existent word to amplify it) IF I TRIED. 

***** To be continued…… *****


The special men in my life. 

Helloooo! Finally back from Kota Kinabalu and I’ve been so knackered. It was basically as uneventful as I expected and had tons of eye-rolling moments (which were totally expected). On our final night, I cried not once, not twice, but four times. Can you believe that. The first two were done while consoling people and the latter was done vice versa. I blame my overly sensitive tear ducts. Special shoutout to my special friend who gave me the massive embrace and his shoulder which I really needed. Thank you for holding me together while my heart was breaking into pieces. That hug really stopped me from falling apart. 

No more being sad, Sabrina Yeo. Do you want your year to be full of tears??? Even though X and I have been barely communicating these days (because what’s new Betty Blue he’s always busy), he too gave me a big pep talk when I came home. Which really gave my mood a boost. I love that man, he always makes me feel better and puts a smile on my face. 

And I know it makes me sound so shallow and a tad cold, but I don’t like bad news all that much and retail therapy always make things better. 

So now the question is, to buy or not to buy lol. Even though I love my Chanel, Ferragamo has always been my favourite. I have a few bags already, but this! Looks so soft and pillowy AND it’s pink AND on sale AND it’s the last piece! I’ve been contemplating for the last couple of days and every time I think, fuck this shit just buy it, I pause and hold back. Do I really need another bag? Should I spend hundreds on a bag even though it’s on sale? Decisions decisions. 

Ooh since I’m on an update roll… I’ve bought my tickets to Bangkok in March with the boys, and am planning another to go meet J in Sydney in June. And and and, my second tattoo will FINALLY be completed this year (will do another story on the delay)! 

See, Sab. It looks like many a good thing will be coming your way, so chin up. Unhappiness will only breed negativity and ain’t nobody got time for that. 

Ok. Back to the bag. To buy or not to buy…? :/