Everything is going awry. Work is an endless stretch of stress that seems to be getting worse day by day (I guess my honeymoon period is officially well and truly over). My face is rotting as a result. Can you believe that I’m getting more and more acne-like bulbous growths now that I’m well into my thirties?! No, I almost can’t believe it either, except that the truth waves its obnoxious self every time I look into the mirror.
That’s not all. My bruxism is also intensifying. I’m quite sure I can turn a raw carrot into mush suitable for an old lady with no teeth at this point. Some days I wake up with an ache in my jaw. I don’t even wear my night guard anymore because my bite is so strong that my teeth actually hurt the next morning. At this rate, I might break the resin together with the rest of my teeth.
And my goodness. The amount of sleep I’m getting. I used to sleep at around 1am. These days, 2 or even 3am is the norm. And then I wake up feeling grouchy and hating the world. And the drive to work becomes a battle of keeping my eyelids open. Which is very dangerous I know. And then I go to work semi-zombified, which leads to my colleagues asking either why I look like shit or if I’m sick. I don’t even have time to fall sick at this point.
And to make me feel worse than I already am, someone brought X up tonight. My last post about him was two months ago, and if you’ve been following this aspect of drama in my life, you’d know that two months not talking about him is no mean feat, and I might have set a new Guinness world record or something. In fact, I almost consider it a miracle (maybe I should contact the Vatican). I have stopped texting him first and he’s the one doing all the initiating these days. In fact, my responses border on cold. Can’t blame me eh. But aren’t you all proud of me? So anyway, unfortunately he was mentioned tonight, and I found myself on the verge of tears missing him. I want to drive over to his house and sit on his door stoop bawling. Way to go Sab, way to go. *slow clap*
Idiot friend. You wait till the anti-X army hears about this and you’ll be in deep shit. So yah. My life is becoming an assembly line that has gone berserk and things are going everywhere except in the direction it needs to be going. Fuck this shit.