Thirty days. That’s how long it has been since we had any form of communication. If I can be honest, I still think of him every single day, but not to the point of wanting to text him. So far, I’ve managed to tell a couple of friends about it without tearing (well done, me) and of course these friends being mine, they’d naturally be on my side. Both sexes did say the same thing about him, so I guess it must be correct if both genders can agree on something haha.

Forget about him, was a recurring point. I wish I could but seven years of memories cannot be erased so easily unless I got hit on the head hard and got amnesia or something.

A couple of my friends have very enthusiastically want to set me up with their friends, but I always say no. This whole matchmaking thing is so backward and awkward and I’ve been single for way too long that I no longer know the “right” etiquette for dating and stuff. Only bright point I can think of of being one half of a couple is the regular sex. And even then that might not be great. So I’m very very resistant to the idea.

I haven’t been doing anything differently, but I’m very thankful for the boxing classes that I’ve been attending twice weekly. Each class is so intense that I’m unable to think of anything else but to keep breathing and not die. Progress is very slow, I still look generally the same, but I noticed that some back fat has gone, and a friend commented yesterday that I look more toned. Lol as if “toned” can even be used to describe me at the mo. But I keep pushing myself with two thoughts. The first being, I didn’t get fat in a day or two, so I shouldn’t expect to lose weight that quickly as well. Secondly, I want to look hot naked hahaha. Not that anyone’s going to see me, but I can.

The days seem so long recently. Work is an absolute drag and I’ve never felt so sluggish about it before. I don’t go out very much either (or want to). I just want to lie in bed all day on weekends. I think I’m turning into one of those middle-aged weirdos. Have you ever heard people saying things like, “Omg that xxx is so weird. Must be because she’s a sad old spinster”, or similar things like that? In this part of the world where I am, single, middle-aged ladies get hit the worst. Everything they do or say can be concluded by the fact that they’re single, therefore deprived of sex, therefore having an aura of weirdness about them. First world country with such baseless, traditional, brainless thinking.

So great. I’m well on my way to becoming a spinster who counts the number of days her non-existent, one-sided soul mate isn’t talking to her.


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