Has it been less than two weeks since my last sad post? It sure feels way longer than that. After my last post, he’s only tried texting me once more (sending me a picture of a bedroom he thinks I’d like for my future house; see what I mean???). I think I replied two words along the lines of not bad or something. I mean, you can’t really blame me right? If someone slaps you then apologises, am I supposed to embrace that person wholeheartedly? I think not.
So the past 10ish days have been quite hellish for me. Mostly because I had to keep fighting the urge to text him random shit like we usually do. Like I said, I cannot be BFFs with the person who just high-fived my face. Also because I went for wisdom tooth surgery. The last time I removed the right one was about five years ago, and I remember the process to be quite tolerable. So this time, I was expecting a similar experience. In fact, I was semi looking forward to it because I would get five days of medical leave. No work woohoo!!! To give you a summary, here are my insta stories. You don’t have to click on them because they’re all text haha.
I’m now in day seven (because it’s 3.33am where I am) and I can finally eat almost normal food. Just that I have to take really small bites and some things I still have to avoid because I’m so afraid of food bits being stuck in the cavities. All this time the surgeon said I only have to remove the left bottom tooth, but on surgery day, he informed me that I’d have to remove the upper as well. FML. Only silver lining from this was that I got eight days of medical leave instead woohoo. Other than not having to go to work, I wish I will never have to experience this again. Oh wait, I don’t. I have no more wisdom teeth left hurhur.
And you know what? X actually saw all my stories but did not even bother to ask if I’m ok. It’s ok, maybe it’s for the better that we cut this once and for all.
Ok I’m going to sound really neurotic right here but it’s really not ok. I do feel quite hurt. He really doesn’t give a fuck’s shit anymore, does he? You know, the shock from that revelation was so big that I still can’t talk to anybody about it. A couple of my friends have repeatedly asked if I’m ok and if I can tell them what happened but I can’t. I’m afraid I’ll start crying if I start to remember all those hurtful things he said. I don’t want to recall those unpleasantness, but yet I feel like I should always do so to remind myself to end this once and for all, instead of being this spineless person. Gosh I do sound a little psycho, don’t I?
I’ll be removing my stitches on Monday, so that’s what I’ll focus on for now. Please please don’t let there be any infection or other complications or any food bits that they’d have to flush out. Please.