I cannot believe that the weeks are just zooming by like tennis balls that have been hit by Serena Williams. How come I used to be able to write about three to four times a month, when now I’d count myself lucky if I could manage just one post a month?
Just to quickly round up what’s been happening recently, first and foremost, I may be going blind. Went for my annual eye checkup, and there are little spots of blood in my eyes. Because it’s a natural progression of diabetes, there’s nothing much I can do except to really control my HbA1c to delay its progression. I’m currently in the very mild stage of non-proliferative diabetic retinopathy (NPDR), but it will eventually develop to mild, to moderate, to severe, then full-blown PDR. No one can tell me how long it takes to degenerate but it’s there. Just like a ticking time bomb. Fuck, my life is a ticking time bomb. Fuck diabetes. Yup, today is one of those days I’m not embracing my condition.
And since we’re on depressing issues, here’s another one. Quarter 3 just ended and I did not achieve my sales targets once again. That makes six months of having zero incentive. Quarter 4’s targets are not out yet, but I’m quite sure it’s not going to be achievable because of circumstances.
Life can be so hard sometimes. An acquaintance’s partner recently committed suicide. While I don’t know the full story, it seems that she had depression and she decided to end it all after an argument. I cannot imagine the trauma of the person left behind (he found her body), and most certainly cannot imagine what drove her to it. This depression sounds like a real scary monster. I hope no one has to go through something terrible like that, no one deserves to. There are no victors in this battle.
I do apologise if reading this upset or spoiled your day. No idea why I’m feeling such melancholy. Is it the weather? Is mercury in retrograde? Am I just a pot that has been left boiling and thus have bubbled over? I don’t know, I really don’t.