U.G.L.Y Ugly, that’s what you are.

Guys. I have to be the bad person here. I’m sure I’ve said it before but I have to do it again.

I HATE CHILDREN.

Recently on our local tv, they’re airing this drama called babies on board or something equally creative 🙄. Without even having to watch it you’ll know it’s about babies. So it’s like one week into the plot, and it’s all about women wanting babies. Like it’s their mission in life or something. They go through shit and more just to try to conceive. Honestly I’m so irritated, but it’s my dinner time so I basically am just rolling my eyes and swearing at the tv everyday.

Then comes real life. I’ve been surrounded by these screaming fuckers lately. And not only do their parents not attempt to restrain them, but they look on upon them with such adoration that you’d think they just saw the three wise men bearing gifts of frankincense and myrrh and whatsthelastgift. Seriously shut the fuck up and stop polluting the environment around me.

And are all parents blind or something? Honestly, I saw pictures of this gremlin (no, really this baby is fugly) and the mother’s caption was something along the lines of, “Best thing that ever happened to me! Just look at this cutie patootie!” complete with heart eyes and all. Seriously, no. I zoomed in. I tried to look at it from every possible angle. That thing is no where near cute. He. Is. Fugly. I guess that’s where the saying “having a face only its mother would love” was derived from.

I mean come on, let’s all be honest here. If you come across an ugly adult, you’d just say or think the way it is, right? But for babies/children, no one ever seems to be able to speak the truth. Let’s not forget how these creatures are actually the most brutal in nature. Remember how your classmates said the nastiest things to you when you were young? There you go. You’re welcome.

So I still stand by my words. If you’re ugly, you’re ugly. It’s ok, it’s not a crime, just bad luck with the gene pool. Just make up for it with a kind heart or an amazing personality when you’re older. But the next parent who coos to my face that their kid is cute/pretty/handsome when they’re not, you’ll just have to take in some hard truths. So there. I said it. I’m a meanie but at least I’m honest. So be like me, and call a baby ugly if you think it. The truth sucks, but get over it, that’s life.

xoxoxoxo.

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