Have you ever been so tired that you’ve thought about giving up on life? Not give up as in ending it, but just go through the day-to-day motions kind of tired?
I’m afraid I’ve entered this stage. Work has been seriously stressful and it’s going to get worse. My area of coverage will be expanded that I’m not sure how I will have the time to see every customer properly. I’m no longer excited to go to work and I’m also not very motivated to do so. In fact, I have to pep talk myself every morning just to get out of bed. And the only thing that keeps me going is looking forward to the end of day and the weekends.
And this has overflowed into my personal life. I’m tired all the time. I just want to veg out when I get home. I no longer have the energy to meet any one for dinner or even drinks. Fancy me saying no to alcohol. The thought of meeting people just tires me out. I talk so much at work and I dread having to do that after work hours now. Can you imagine that. I love talking soooo much I used to have conversations with myself in the mirror all the time when I was young. And in my school report card year after year, the words “talkative” or “verbal diarrhoea” was a given.
I also get annoyed when people make plans and the group gets bigger and bigger. Because now I’ll have to stretch my conversation and social skills further and thinner. But I really don’t feel like it. But yet I cannot ignore all social invitations because then I’ll get probing and persistent questions like “are you ok?”. I know my friends mean well, but I’d prefer to be left alone.
And then there’s this thing about being “match-made” AGAIN. Because my work environment is fairly new, this whole cycle about me being single gets highlighted again. I don’t see it as a problem, but apparently everyone else does. These days, I get attempted to be paired up with anything of the male species and walks on two legs. Then my sister asked, “What if a rooster walks by…?”. Lol I thought that was quite hilarious.
Not exactly sure why I’m in such a funk. Could be because of my last post, or having everything shitty happening all at once. It’s terrible. On the outside I’m all 🤡😬😂🤣😊, but once I’m alone I become 🗿🙄😔☹️😔.
This is bad. Adulting is bad. Even buying clothes don’t make me that happy anymore, and that’s saying something.