Very rare of me to post in consecutive days but since my posts are so few and far in between, relish it hahaha.
Today I just want to grumble a little about you-know-who. Perhaps because I’ve had nothing but praises about him (except for the few posts where I really went for it), and he knows I look at him and everything he does with heart eyes (😍😍😍), that he’s taken me for granted. I want to formally inform you that I don’t like it one bit so don’t you take that attitude with me, mister.
We were just texting and he asked my opinion about an event that he did. First, he asked why I didn’t like his post, of which I didn’t answer (see, he actually enjoys the attention I shower on him 🙄🙄). Then he asked my thoughts on those pictures. I told him honestly that I didn’t scrutinise them this time and he actually had the gall to go all iffy on me!!! Said it was a waste of his time asking me and saying things like “forget I asked”. Excuse me?! Let me remind you, no one controls *this* wild child.
I mean, since you’re so busy and have zero time for me then why should I spend all my waking hours obsessing over you? And the one time I don’t offer my full support you get all tantrumny on me? Since you don’t even have time to share about your projects, what’s the point of me getting into it when I don’t know shit? That’s hardly fair isn’t it.
I know you have been there for me and I really do appreciate it very much. In fact, perhaps you’ll be subconsciously used as a benchmark in future. I don’t even want a relationship any longer. As we all grow older, I think just having a companion is good enough. But obviously, I’m not even good enough for that. And this hot and cold game, this ambiguity thingy is so tiring to manage.
If you haven’t already realised, the distance between us is getting wider because you don’t let me in. Has it also not hit you that I rarely initiate texting you these days? Oh how the tables have turned. But you cannot blame me. You were the one who kept pushing me away and keeping me at arm’s length all these years. And you were the one who also urged me to stop waiting. So maybe, just maybe, I am tired. Be careful what you wish for.
Ok I’m done ranting. I feel better and I’m going to bed.