Somebody. Pinch. Me.
I think I’ve just gotten the closest thing to a confession I’ll ever get from X. He wanted a chat on Saturday night, but I was out and he was asleep by the time I got back so we said we’ll chat on Sunday night.
Sunday night rolls around and I’m fighting the droop of my eyelids when he asks if I wanted to watch a late night movie. Usually, I’d never hesitate, but I was really knackered by the weekend shenanigans so I told him I’d like to take a rain check. And he started cajoling me (something he has never done before) but still I said no because I needed to wake up early for work today. After some more nudging, I relented and said to give me ten minutes to consider and I’ll call him back. And also for the first time, he seemed reluctant to hang up. Surprise surprise.
Of course I said yes in the end (no surprise from this end). He has been soooo busy recently (though this is hardly news) and I figured if I gave it a miss, who knows how long more I’d have to wait before seeing him again. After the movie ended, I asked if I could use the bathroom in preparation for the journey home (I really did have the intention to just pee and leave) but he asked if I’d stay for a cup of tea. Jeng jeng jeng! This was highly unusual behaviour. I do know he has been bogged down by personal and work stuff recently but he was being slightly needy (which I absolutely relish because never in the four years plus has this happened). I even had to insist on leaving (never wanted to leave of my own accord) because 1am became 2.
And then today, he was telling me about something tear-jerking which his godmother told him. So in jest, I asked why he never had that kind of reaction when I say almost the same things. And he said he was touched that I watched a movie with him and shared some stuff about coping, and how he really treasured it. Omfg somebody hold me.
Being the mature person I am, I said, “WHAT?! Only yesterday?! The past four years are as good as farts!” (I know, I tend to be overly dramatic at times). And he replied asking me not to misunderstand his words, but last night was especially significant because I dropped everything and went (drove like a speed demon) to him just because he asked. I think my heart just stopped.
So even though, he didn’t actually proclaim his undying love for me, it already means the world to me. Perhaps he’s only saying all these in times of need (like how some people only turn to religion in their darkest moments), but whatever. A need is a need is a need.
I’m over the moon. Who cares if I have a runny and blocked nose all at the same time??? I have more things to be happy about. Four years and six months. It took so long for him to show his vulnerable and emotional side but it’s ok. I’ll willingly wait forty years if I have to (don’t stone me for my decisions).
And X, you know you only need to ask and I’ll fly to be by your side. That’s what I’ve said before, have done now and will continue doing as long as you need me. (Am slightly embarrassed at being so vomit-inducing, but only slightly because I have such thick skin hurhurhur)