S and M are my two favourite alphabets. 

I’m pleased to announce that there ain’t no tumours in my leg. *whoops for joy*

24 August, minutes after my last blog post went up. 

X texts me (we do text in mandarin quite often, though I do wonder why), telling me not to worry and go to sleep, as if reading my mind. Somehow, even as tears roll down my cheeks, I seek comfort in his words. 

25 August, 0730hrs.

My manager M, texts us in the group chat to tell us that he’s sick and will be on medical leave. He messages me separately, saying he’ll meet me later for my appointment. My advise for him to stay home to rest falls on deaf ears. He knew about my appointment because I told him the night before, depending on how events unfold, I might not make it to work too. Secretly, I was a little relieved that I wouldn’t have to face the doctor alone. 

1000hrs, the doctor is late. 


The ortho finally arrives, and we’re ushered in to see him. Handshakes are exchanged all around and we settle in. Dr Su turns out to be an extremely warm and jovial man, and I even manage to relax a little. After getting the low-down from me, he makes me lie on the bed to examine me. He conducts tests on my good leg before moving on the bad leg. All this time while he’s lifting my way this way and that, I’m thinking “oh god please don’t let me be flashing my panties because I’m in a skirt!”. There was a blanket over me but he lifted my leg all the way towards the ceiling and M was sitting opposite me (he later told me I did flash him a couple of times- the horrors!). The doctor came to three possible conclusions and advised me to get an MRI done because an X-ray only shows the bones, and if nothing shows up on that, I’d still have to go for the former. 


I shoo M home for some rest and proceed to the lab alone. I always thought that getting an MRI done was just a matter of minutes. Boy was I wrong. Each area takes an hour or so, and I needed to scan both the lumbar spine and my hip/thigh. Now, I never thought myself to have any claustrophobia, but entering the machine felt that I was in a coffin. What an omen. I had to pep talk myself to keep from pressing the call bell and screaming for help and to please get me out of there. Perhaps the radiographer sensed my anxiety, for after I entered the machine, he told me to look up and said that he’ll be in the room behind. And by looking up, I realised that I wasn’t trapped in a box but could literally see the end of the tunnel. 


This was the most agonising hour. Because he was going to scan my thighs, he had me cross my feet at an awkward angle and taped them down. By doing that, the pain in my leg acted up but I couldn’t move. To top it off, he blasted Celine Dion into the headphones he put on me. Couldn’t decide what was worse; her caterwauling or the intensifying pain. 


Finally everything was completed and I was free to go. Except now, other than the pain in my leg, my back was aching so badly from lying supine for more than two hours. It was going to be a long waiting game until I receive the results and see the ortho again the next day. 

26 August, 1445hrs. 

Am a tad annoyed that the people in front of me were late for their appointments, which in turn delayed mine. Hello, didn’t they realise I had a pressing issue at hand?! Finally get to see Dr Su again (he’s actually quite a charming man) and he has good and bad news. The good- there are no seriously anomalies from my scans (other than a slight bulge in my lumbar disc #4 which he says is more of a wear and tear issue) and he’s happy. The bad- because I’m clinically in pain but the scans are clean, he has no idea what is my problem either. So he suggested I get some physio done to try to stretch out the muscle and other kinks before we decide on the next course of action if the physio doesn’t work. Nonetheless, relief washes all over me. Then, hilarity ensues. 

Dr: “Do you want to take a picture of the bulging disc (up on the light box) to show your husband?”

Me: (confused for a second) “Dr Su, I’m not married!”

Dr: “Oh! I’m so sorry! Is M your boyfriend then?”

Me: “No, I’m still single!”

Dr: (laughs and laughs and laughs) “I’m so sorry! I thought you must be married because you’re so eligible.”

In my mind, I was saying, I wish. I texted M immediately to tell him and he said he nearly spat out his coffee and concluded that women are so easy to lie to. Thanks. 

I’m sorry that this is such a lengthy post but I’m just really really glad that there’s nothing life-threatening. The pain is still here but I’ll give physio a shot to see if things get better. 

I want to thank X for constantly checking on me that two days, wanting to know everything that the doctor said and attempting to put my mind at ease even though he wasn’t physically there. Despite his non-commitment, I know that he cares and he’s always around when I need him. 

To M, I would like to thank him for being present. I’m usually quite independent but it was nice having somebody around for moral support. Even though we’ll never ever ever be spouses (he’s not interested in women), I still want to say that I’ll be a very lucky woman if I have such a fine specimen of a man; handsome, intelligent, caring and capable, to call my own. We may have had a bit of rough times the past month, but I’m glad things are back to normal. 

And, if you included me in your thoughts and prayers, I must thank you too, for that sure helped in getting me out of this medical rut. 

I feel very loved even though I always claim otherwise. 


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