Attended yet another wedding yesterday. I had originally planned to wear this beautiful red dress, until I happened to ask the bride the colour of her second gown. Red, she said. Ok, I’ll wear something else, I said.
Even though I was very sure someone else was going to be in red, I didn’t want to clash with the bride knowingly (not that I could steal her shine anyway). So, there began a flurry to search for something else to wear.
I tried on a few outfits, thinking they would be perfect. Errrr yah, only in my head. Change after change and I got increasingly frustrated. I either looked like a fucking whale, or alternated it looking the size of a sofa that can seat 12. Ended up just flinging everything around in extreme distress. Some of my other dresses couldn’t even fit (yeah I put on weight over these couple of years)!
In the end, I managed to dig out this new dress but I was extremely hesitant because of it’s non-modest neckline. It was either that or fuck it, I was just going to wear that red dress. When I put on the former dress, I was soooo embarrassed because my boobies were screaming LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEE!!! And what a long way I’ve come. In my late teens to mid-twenties, the goal was to showcase as much cleavage as possible. There was no such thing as too low. Maybe it’s an age thing, but I was uncomfortable showing too much now. And hoping my parents would discourage me, I seeked their opinion. Being as all parents usually are, they were surprisingly encouraging. So with dutch courage from them, I walked out of the house in that skanky dress.
I did feel a bit bad that I was in such an attention-seeking dress and comments like “you’re giving me a nose bleed”, “wow, so sexy!” from some of my friends didn’t help with alleviating my discomfort.
I think it’s time I banish such clothes from my wardrobe once and for all. Oh gosh, I’m 31+ going on 70, so prudish!