Remember some months ago when I talked about my periods and their excruciating cramps and how much I hate them? I still want to spit on them with a vengeance if only it had a face.
Two days back I got mine again, and it was another one of those dramatic episodes where I stumbled from the shower with dripping wet hair and all. I even retched from the pain. And called for help. Except there was no one at home to help me and my mother and sisters came home TWO hours after I pitifully asked them to buy painkillers home for me. Two hours. And it’s not like they were saving the world. They went shopping and eating. I could have died from the pain. This obviously shows how much they care. But that’s another story for another day.
While I was clutching my stomach and howling (hope my neighbours didn’t think I was getting abused or something), I developed the most hateful of thoughts of this whole period thing.
Don’t we get our periods to confirm that we’re not pregnant? That’s good because I’m single as can single be. And yah maybe we’re releasing some unused eggs and shit like that (not a biology student obviously), and I get it.
But why can’t this process be simplified? Like just come say “hi you’re not preggers so bye and see you next month”. Why put me through a week of unnatural bleeding (who else bleeds like that for a week without requiring medical assistance other than us women?) which still grosses me out to this day. I’m not completely unreasonable, but just a couple of days or even hours should suffice.
Bleeding (and having to worry about staining our clothes and bed sheets) aside, why must we suffer from cramps as well? My mother poohpooh-ed me when I was telling her how much pain I was in. She said it’s nothing compared to giving birth. With all due respect mother, you’re not me, so you don’t know how much pain I’m getting. I’m quite sure if you rig me up to one of those birthing simulation thingmajigs, my level of pain would be up there.
And after all this shit is over, I’m going to have to go through it in another three weeks. For maybe the next twenty-ish years or so of my life. Fuck me.