I stopped counting the days we haven’t spoken because why should I care when you don’t? You said you are still the same person and so did I, but one of us must be lying because it’s no longer the same.
How frightening it is to go from talking about everything under the sun to having long silences when we met. All because we stopped talking for a mere two months or so. What happened to the three and a half years where we couldn’t stop talking? You couldn’t even be bothered to follow through the plans I had for that day and wanting to go home even before we had dinner. That really hurt, you know.
And it chills my heart when you tell me you’re going to stop responding to messages because it makes you more productive. Did you really think I believed you when you said you’re not going to ignore only me but everyone else? I sometimes pretend to be ignorant of things especially when you get animated and can’t wait to tell me all about it, but I’m really smarter than you make me out to be, I just didn’t want to burst your bubble.
Sure, you said I can call anytime, but I can’t be possibly calling you all day, everyday whenever I want to tell you things can I?
What was probably the most cruel whether you did it intentionally or not was to say “you don’t have to finish singing” when I called you on your birthday and sang you Happy Birthday. Sure, I’m no Celine Dion or Beyoncé, but the birthday song is really only four fucking lines long and I even remember singing it at an accelerated speed because I felt kinda embarrassed myself.
But sure, since you’ve made your intentions so very fucking clear, I’ll respect that. I brought this all upon myself because you kept telling me not to wait but I stubbornly refused.
Well, you got what you wished for. I no longer have the urge to want to tell you every minute detail. You appear less in my mind in a day. I don’t snatch up my phone each time I receive a message praying with all my heart it’s from you. And the saddest thing is that I realised I didn’t even care to ask about your work when we met the other day when previously I was so excited about every single job you got.
Perhaps I changed after all.