It doesn’t just rain, it pours. With thunder and lightning.

I love how people judge others from the way they look. I totally understand, because I do it all the time myself haha. The difference is, I don’t voice it out especially when it’s nothing positive. Not that I’m trying to justify that doing it in my head is an honourable thing to do, but you know what I mean.

I’ve said it before how people have expressed surprise when they learn of my interests and hobbies, but recently I’ve been getting a new one- my dating history.

To set the record straight, I’ve had two relationships, one lasting a mere three months and the other for over three years (is that my unlucky number or what…). I’ve also dated this douchebag for longer than necessary and to date, and that was the biggest mistake of my life. And that’s all.

Considering how some people change partners as often as changing their underwear, I think I can safely call myself a conservative person. I just cannot bring myself to do casual stuff with any man (well I did experiment once and that explains my regret) because I’m just not that kind of person. If you are, don’t take offense, it’s just that we have differing perspectives and values. I think I mainly cannot handle the emotional baggage that ebbs and flows from readjusting my feelings each time a man enters and exit my life, so I prefer not to start.

That said, I’m always mildly amused when new friends/acquaintances express their shock upon learning what a prude I am. Actually I’m not sure if I should be tickled or offended. What do you mean when you say things like “Only two?! How is that possible?!”, or “You mean two serious ones and countless unofficial ones? Hahahaha!”. Some people are just so rude.

I just went to scrutinise my face in the mirror. I do not have WHORE tattooed across my forehead. Neither do I dress in such skanky clothing (maybe I did when I was younger but hey, we all made fashion mistakes some time in our lives) that might lead people to misunderstand that I’m offering sexual services as a career. I most certainly do not have any evidence of conquest after conquest to show off a colourful dating resume.

So I cannot fathom why people would think that of me. I find myself having to defend and solemnly swear about it, but why do I even need to explain myself to you? Whether or not I’m the village bicycle is really none of your business.

I’m so tired lately. My insomnia is back with a vengeance, work has been dreary, I have to field idiotic questions on a regular basis. And it’s been 23 agonising days since X and I had any contact. This is the longest we have gone without speaking to each other and it’s still painful to restrain myself each day. But, this may be a good way to just end this once and for all.

And my answer to your nosy question is: No. X and I have not held hands/kissed/bonked each other. Never, not once, probably not ever. Please, go disturb somebody else, I’m not even remotely famous for you to garner such an interest in me.


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