For sale.

Updates, updates! Tomorrow is day three of CNY and I’m excited that the festivities are coming to a close and life can get back to some semblance of normalcy.

I’m honestly amazed by the tireless efforts of my relatives asking the same question year after year after decades. They probably mean no harm but ohmygodjustleavemealonealready!

Yesterday was a good example of how unfair the world is. There I was, just minding my own business fiddling with my phone while my aunties and godma were playing mahjong. Then they talked about how my cousin who very recently got engaged is at the right age for settling down. My cousin is the same age as me, just a few months older. And then one of my aunties asked my age and I squeaked out “31 this year”.

Out of the blue, my godma whipped her head around to face me and said, “Aiyah, you be spinster forever lah!”

I’m prepared to spend the rest of my life as a single, but wow. That’s kind of harsh. “What?! Whyyyyyy? What did I do?!”

“Choose choose choose, so choosy. Choose until no more men left ok!”

“Ok.” *cue sad face*

I reiterate. I’m not buying vegetables from the market, of course there must be some standards. No one would spend money to buy bruised or rotting vegetables if they can help it right?

Unfairness of the world: 1, Sab: 0.

You’d think I’d have suffered the brunt from yesterday and I’d be spared from further torture seeing that I’m meeting the same group of relatives today, right? Wrong. Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.

Today, my godma is asking any man within sight if they have brothers/friends/probably male dogs/maybe even their fathers to introduce to me. This makes me feel like I’m sitting in a bargain bin, with neon lights screaming SALE, together with lighted, flashing arrow signs pointing right at me. If there’s a way to feel cheap, this is probably it.

Unfairness of the world: 2, Sab: 0.

I’ve been asked by my ex-colleague to be his pseudo girlfriend this CNY (obviously I turned that down), X’s mother says I’m pretty, X too (kinda forced into a corner by me), my brother’s girlfriend has apparently said it multiple times too and a few others, just to name a few. Not that I’m being narcissistic here, but I do think I’m not all that bad. I’m not in a hurry to be married, so no one else should make me.

Now I’m thinking of changing my game plan. Obviously my recycled tricks from last year ain’t working. Perhaps I should say I like girls (because that would shock all these traditionalists into silence), or maybe explain that I cannot bring my man friend because I’m his mistress (though X has warned me not to joke about this- I wonder why…). Or something.


Not too shabby right?


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