I should rename my blog to girl with no backbone or something equivalent seeing that my willpower is so weak it should be more apt to call it willpower-less.
So I went out with X yesterday evening but I started my day full of vigour as if I was high on something even though I begged my mind to be calm, cool and collected. I tried to be cold, oh I really did try but alas… The very moment our eyes met I was like *BIG GRIN*, as if I realised I shed 20kg overnight just by sleeping.
Throughout dinner and dessert there was this unexplainable joy of current that circulated within this useless body. He kept asking me about me and listened and remembered various characters and offered advice. I was the selfish person yesterday who kept blabbering.
I’m generally no good with prolonged eye contact and I’m practicing holding it all day, everyday. So I conveniently *ahem* used him as target practice and holy mother of god, I kept being charmed to no end. I’m sure my bff would strongly disagree with my version of “charming” because she grabs every opportunity to poke fun of my crap taste in men.
While sending him home, we anticipated a jam in the route we were supposed to take so I made a lame comment about spending more time together. He proposed a longer, alternative route which I commented on and then he said “but that would also mean we get more time together”. Oh lordy did I hear that right I think I’m going to pass out.
The funny thing about this whole thing I have with him is the moment I start withdrawing, the more he initiates contact. He has been texting me first because I’m supposed to be cold. He has plans for a picnic with me *squeals to high heavens* and other things.
I have to keep reminding myself not to behave like a freaking teenager because I don’t want to regress. I mean, as it is, I’m already out of control…. Behave yourself Sab.