Still no news on the job front. The announcement was supposed to be tomorrow but they just inhumanly and casually pushed it to next Monday as if we were all not anxious enough. Easy for them to do this when they’re not the ones whose jobs are on the line.

Tomorrow I have an appointment with an eye specialist to check out my retinopathy. Even though they said it’s very mild at this point, we all know where it’s going from here- downhill. Which means I could jolly well turn blind in five years. Whoopee.

Then starting this week, I’ll be working for 12 consecutive days without rest because of that major international event going on. Friday night, Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning. Which means I won’t get to celebrate my 30th in style because I’ll just be too fucking tired plus I have to wake up early for booth duties the next day.

If this is a sign of my year ahead, it’s going to suck balls.

The only nice thing that happened was my early birthday celebration with the boys last weekend. The villa was beautiful but very expensive and we only stayed one night so that was a real bummer too.


The life. I think I can do this everyday.

Then in preparation of being jobless, I am stuck with updating my CV. Me, who is never at a loss for words being stuck. It’s like I turned into lime jelly brain girl overnight. And I have zero plans for my birthday because no one offered to celebrate with or for me. So not only has my brain turned to mush, but I have no friends as well.

Then he tells me he can only see me in December because he has classes to teach and appointments almost everyday. With everyone but me. I know he doesn’t do birthdays but he knows I do and knowing that I like but yet leaving me in the lurch like that…. Hurts me. I always reiterate that his career should come first too, but it’s only a few stinking hours. Boo.

I cannot fathom why I’m in one of these moods. Maybe it’s because my future is on the line and yet there’s so much uncertainty. Or it could be I’m afraid at what the check up will bring. It could also stem from the fear that I’m turning stupid. Perhaps I’m feeling emo at the thought of becoming an old hag.

I don’t like me when I’m like this because I become this depressive person who saps positive energy from everyone. I’m better of asleep.


2 thoughts on “Bummed.

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