The colour green.

There’s this female friend of X who has gotten my attention recently. I didn’t mean to stalk her on purpose but she keeps popping up in his Facebook feed like how an annoying fly keeps buzzing in your face. Let’s just say she irks me more a little everyday.

I knew of her existence since a long time ago and all I know that she’s not local and they met while taking French lessons together years ago. I didn’t bother finding out more because pish-tosh yawn. Call it a woman’s instinct, but I suspected long ago that she’s interested in him. Not that I cared, because I didn’t view her as competition material. Sometimes I’m amazed at my own level of confidence and complacency; like, where did they come from?!

Recently she’s suddenly all over the place again. Or it could simply be that I wasn’t paying her any attention prior. She comments and likes almost every single post of his with a vengeance. Not only that. She does it with amazing speed too. Within two to five minutes of him posting something, this woman will appear. I have images of her maniacally refreshing his page every other second. Who’s the stalker now?

What’s even more perplexing is that she recently deactivated her account and came back again almost immediately and X is her only friend. The one thing she keeps doing that makes me want to embed my heel permanently into her eyeball is her tagging him in almost everything single stupid thing. Like a video of tourists being robbed in Paris. Or how the French still sound classy even when they are swearing. Or when he changed his profile picture. Hey girl, get a life.
I also need to add that she’s totally unfunny and her sense of humour is as funny as you trying to tickle yourself.

AND, the icing on my already pissed off cake is her posting a private message on his wall for the whole wide world to see. It was along the lines of how she misses him and the days they used to spend hours together just chatting and how she hopes to replicate that soon because she needs his advice.

He might be gullible or kind-hearted enough but I can see right through you and your ploy, bitch. I’m very sure they are actively texting each other on the side, so couldn’t you just privately tell him that?

I know I’m being unreasonable here because no one has a right to stop anyone (not that I’m ever going to do lame shit like that) from choosing their friends but she just annoys me so.

I have the strongest urge to be childish and tag him in every single picture I take in Paris when I’m eventually there just because I can, but that will reduce me to be on the same desperate level as her. Look, grass in Paris! Wow, gargoyles! Hmmm the colour of the river is different from what we have! The coffee in Starbucks tastes the same! You get the idea….

I’m also horrified at how much “hold” he has over me. Let’s be honest here. He’s no Johnny Depp or George Clooney material so I don’t really understand why I’m soooo into him. Maybe it’s because he’s so unattainable and I don’t believe in backing down from a challenge.

I still don’t view her as competition because I have tons of faith in myself but I have to admit that…. The jealousy monster in me is stirring. Eeps.



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