The fall didn’t kill me, the embarrassment did.

Today will go down as one of the most embarrassing days in my adult life. I fell again.

If you remember the last time I fell, it was in my home toilet. Even though this time is less life-threatening than the last, it is so much more horrible on so many levels.

Of all the places in the world I could fall, I fell on all fours like a dog in the main lobby of my office building. During lunch. In front of not many, let’s say a hundred people give or take.

There I was just wanting to quicken my pace so I could top up my cash cards and go for our team lunch. I had my handbag slung on my left shoulder, ipad in the crook of my right arm and two work bags on my left arm whilst holding on to my two cash cards in my right hand.

Click clack I went and next thing I know, I found my right heel slipping on the marble floor. Because of my busy arms, I didn’t manage to regain my balance and I went skidding across the floor with a bang. Like a kid tobogganing down a snow hill. Except that there was no snow. And the more appropriate word to use here is splattered. And I was in a dress. Did I also mention that the lobby is very echoey? I blame whoever was in charge for polishing them floors too well.

Yup that’s right. What made things a thousand times worse was that I was sprawled right in the middle of the busy lobby. And after I crashed, I heard many gasps of shock. I keep telling comforting myself that the resounding gasps were from the echoey lobby but deep down I know better that they came from the multiple groups who witnessed that horrifying scene.

Horrifying only to me. I’m sure everyone else found it absolutely hilarious. I don’t really blame them. I would probably be hysterical with laughter if I wasn’t the faller (or is it fallee?).

On my part, I have to say I was fairly agile and picked myself up in an instant. Not so agile was me trying to pick the strewn items (and my extremely bruised ego) from the floor. My next mortifying moment came shortly after when I wondered if I flashed my ass to anyone behind because I was in a dress.

And my ordeal was far from over. What anyone in their right mind would do would be to make a quick escape as they probably can. Not me. I had to prolong my humiliation because somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I just had to complete my initial task of topping up my cash cards. Which still had sufficient value to get me out of there. Amazing how my mind works.

So even though I was burning with shame, I proceeded to the machine about eight steps away while wishing that I would turn invisible. But no. This kind man approached me to return my hair tie which I missed picking up earlier. I just acted nonchalant and said thank you without even looking up because how could I? At least now I can confirm I possess zero magical powers.

My knees are battered and my right foot hurts. But nothing beats my embarrassment. How am I supposed to go back on Monday not knowing who bore witness but them witnesses recognising me?!

When I told my family and reenacted the scene, they were all screaming with laughter. X also said he’d have laughed his lungs out if he was there. Gee, thanks a lot guys. Go on. You’re welcome to laugh too. Don’t hold back.

I’m really contemplating putting a bag over my head come Monday. I’ve never dreaded Mondays so much.

xoxoxoxo.

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