I’m afraid I’ve been one too many times a whiner recently and you know how I feel about them. Only puppies whine. But since I’m well on my way to becoming one, I guess another post won’t hurt no one. Except perhaps your eyes.
I’ve been thinking about work recently. I still love certain aspects of it; the flexible hours, the high I get talking to people, an even higher high when I get awarded for meeting my targets and a few more.
But there’s this little voice at the back of my mind niggling me. I feel like I’m becoming a little more smooth each day. And I don’t mean it in a charming manner but of the sleazy, “oily” kind. I pride myself on never lying (except maybe the times I lied to mum about my shopping and the time I got ink on the carpet…) but these days, I’m telling more and more half truths. I do it to fan my doctors’ egos and hopefully bring in more sales but I’m also forced to do it sometimes because I can’t possibly roll my eyes at him and tell him to fuck off, right?
It’s gotten to the point where I come across as insincere (even though I’m really am) to others and it’s really starting to bother me. Also, I think that most people in the pharmaceutical industry are just materialistic folks. Almost every rep carries branded bags to work and are on a constant hunt for the next “it” bag. Yes they should reward themselves for all that hard work but when conversation all revolves around these superficial things, I think it’s time to take a step back.
Me? I carry a $40 bag because sometimes I throw my bag onto the clinic’s floor. I treasure my possessions very much and hell no I’m throwing a bag worth 2k on the floor! Not that I’ve spent 2k on a bag (yet). I won’t pretend that I’m the Holy Priestess of Non-worldly Possessions because I have my eye on a Chanel bag (or two) when I’m in Paris in Q3 of the year. The thought of spending so much on a silly bag freaks me out so I’ll definitely put more thought into it.
Back to being materialistic. I’m afraid I’ll slowly be influenced into being one of them. Some of these girls are actually capable and intelligent but all these shallow talk makes them appear bimbotic and a turn off. There are so many more things we can talk about, ladies….. Worst of all is that I have to partake in the conversations because I have to.
So yeah. I’m seriously rethinking my priorities in life. I don’t want it to creep up on me and hit me in the face one fine morning. I just want to remain as simple old me. What would you do in my shoes?
P.s: Speaking of priorities, I think we all agree which one I should iron out first. You know… The X priority….