30 going on three.

Ding ding ding!! I’ve been hit by the let’s-wax-lyrical-about-life-in-the-dead-of-the-night pow wow. Just got off Instagram which was filled with many lovey-dovey couple pictures and just chanced across one of those articles from Thought Catalogue about love. I happen to often think what gives these people the authority to write on articles such as “Why you’re still single” or “25 ways you know you’ve snagged Mr Right”. Pish tosh. Just piss off already.

It must be the research for Paris getting to me. It’s official. I’ll be flying in alone because he will be going there a month or two earlier to paint and possibly have a chance to exhibit. While I’m excited that he has such drive and ambition as well as the potential opportunities it will bring him,  what the fuck am I going to do with myself for 13 hours on the plane alone?!

I’m now in the midst of researching for a place to stay, and every suggestion of mine has been shot down quicker than I can say Eiffel Tower. No not here. There’s too dangerous. All the places he’s suggested are way too expensive. Not to sound ungrateful; I’m very appreciative of his help on the contrary but it’s all quite overwhelming. If you’re really that concerned for my safety, then why can’t you just stay with me? All that bollocks about needing space to paint and wanting to be nearer to the exhibition place. I’m not dense. I can sense rejection from five miles away. I may act clueless at times but believe me, nothing escapes me just because I choose to be in semi-denial.

And all that talk about me needing to be independent because you can’t spend everyday with me: I GET IT. I’m not going to be some clingy leech and demand to hang from your coat tails 24/7. In the first place I said I’ll go alone but you insisted that it’s not safe for a girl to travel alone. Well newsflash!  What you’re doing is no different from me travelling alone.

I hate it when I throw a tantrum like I’m a three year old but can’t you sense my frustrations? The way you’re behaving makes it seem like I’m going to ambush and jump you with every opportunity I have. Ok fine, that’s not too far from the truth but I’m no psycho sex maniac. I’m just having a little couple-envy. Maybe I have OD-ed on all those I-Love-You posts and also perhaps I’m on my period (TMI I know….) that’s why I’m extra emotional.

You know. I think I’ve dropped you enough hints and being blatant about certain things. Maybe it’s time. I’m beginning to feel tired. Why can’t you do the chasing for once?

xoxoxoxo.

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