Dear Me (or lordy above who’s reading this),
I am writing (actually typing) this post to remind myself to never be a smug half of a couple/ mother. If I ever get taken off the shelf that is. I feel an urgency to compose this post because minutes ago, I was vetting people who have added me on Facebook and went to poke my nose into the “people you may know” section.
What I saw disgusted me utterly. Profile picture after profile picture of 1) couple shots, 2) wedding shots, 3) baby shots. Is that all there is to life? You mean I spent all those years (and money) busting my brains out studying, trying to attain some form of achievement in my career just to “fulfill” society – defined life goals of being chained to the kitchen sink and being a sow?
I don’t need to bear a child to be a sow. I mean look at me. And no thank you very much. Then I pondered for a moment; am I normal for not wanting all these? Are my wires so wrongly tuned that the desire for me to pass on my genes are as strong as me carrying two goats on my back walking across burning coals?
And why do people see the need to show off their partners or babies? Yes Facebook is a platform for narcissism. Ask me, I know best. I mean I’m exactly the kind of person who posts everything. Short of telling you the colour of my booger or posting a picture of my wedgie I’m all been there done that. However, it is YOUR profile not your cat’s/ dog’s/ mouse’s/ boyfriend’s/ girlfriend’s/ baby’s/ cockroach’s so just put your fucking face for the love of god.
I honestly do not need to see another picture of your beach wedding photo shoot or another wrinkly newborn. Just like I know the only person who enjoys my posts are me myself and I, no one, I repeat, NO ONE is absolutely mildly interested in what you think is sending shivers down our spines in a positive manner. On the contrary it sends edifications of shudders all the way to our toes.
Is it just me? Does anyone scroll whichever social media tool and can’t stop rolling their eyes too? I feel like my eyeballs are going to be stuck inwardly soon if I don’t control myself. Sometimes i also feel like shooting myself in between my eyes just so I can unsee. But I always manage to get a grip on myself and remember that it’s them who deserve to be punished.
So dear me, should I be so overwhelmed by love one sweet day, may I keep things selfishly and blissfully under wraps for my beloved and my eyes only. Remember, no one likes a smug couple (unless you’re annoyingly one of them).