No egg flied lice for me please.

It’s a rainy and thundery (and kinda lightningery) night here and since I don’t have a hot man to snuggle up with, I write. Wait. Cross that last line. What hot man. There’s nothing close to a semblance of a man near me.

To add salt to my already raw wound, it’s almost 3am and I’m still wide awake. Been having insomnia for months now.

So recently, I’ve been getting mistaken by credit card/ insurance agents/ annoying promoters in general who badger innocent people like me for being a non-local. It’s like they are speaking to other people in English one minute, and the next after spotting me, they switch to mandarin.

It’s not like I cannot speak Chinese but it irks me to no end that they assume that I’m a China Chinese. I blame our government for bringing so many of them in here. Just because I sport dark eye rings and I happen to be fair does not mean I’m a natural China product- the panda ok.

One of them even went as far as to say (translated version) “You’re a PR (Permanent Resident), not a Singaporean right?”. I say FUCK YOU. Which part of me looks like I originated from that Motherland?!?! I feel fucking insulted. You might as well be pissing on my shoes.

So even though I’m pissed, I’m still bothered. Is it my face? Do I possess a ching chong ling long ding-a-dong face? Is it the way I dress? I don’t think so because if you look at many of them, their fashion is…. Fairly questionable. Not that I’m at the fore-front of fashion but still. And I shave my arm pits ok. Do I need to be walking with both arms raised so you can differentiate me from them?

I conclude that it’s the colour of my skin coupled with my long, straight, dark hair. But come on!, Sadako (from the horror thriller The Ring) is Japanese not Chinese!!

My friends think this whole thing is so funny. Let’s see if it’s still funny when I give you dark eye rings to match mine. I blame the insomnia too. It’s your fault for giving those people an opportunity to mentally link me to those giant pandas when I walk past those pests.

At least I do more than eat and sleep and roll around without contributing to the economy and society ok. And don’t give me that bull about how ALL Chinese are from China. As far as I know, even my great-grandparents did not originate from there so stop being so obnoxious about how great your country is.

Oh dear god let me fall asleep. Please. Like.now. Ok within the next 15 minutes. Please.

P.s: I’m not being racist or being snobbish here, it’s just that these assumptions are highly annoying. Also, if you’ve been reading my posts, it’s all in light humour. If you’re pissed off reading this, then my page is not right for you.

xoxoxoxo.

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