I’m better off being a neanderthal.

I’ve always prided myself on being modern. Not radical like walking around everywhere bra-less modern (have an irrational fear of saggy boobs), but more in the I-won’t-bat-my-eyelids-even-if-you-flash-me sense.

However, I’ve caught myself saying/thinking things like “Wow your dress is so short my pillow case is bigger!”, or “Kids these days!” and proceed to tut or shake my head (sometimes both). These are the exact things I loathed to hear when I was younger and adults said them to me. In fact, many light years ago, I believe I swore never to repeat those words.

How times have changed. I allude this behaviour to a more mature and experienced life. Excuses.

How times have changed indeed. I know stories of infidelity have been rampant since the times of Shakespeare. I mean, he was the one who wrote Othello right? But that’s a play. Make believe. Stems from imagination. Not real.

So imagine my horror when I witnessed one such scene of incredulity yesterday. There I was, minding my own business nursing a beer and trying my utmost best from combusting in the heat when I jolted awake.

There was a group of young adults, two males and three females. Within the group there was a couple. The female of the couple went to pee with another female of the group. The non-couple male was immersed in his mobile phone world, so the boy of the couple and the remaining female chatted. Nothing out of the ordinary right? That’s what I thought until the girl stood up, leaned over and they kissed. Following me so far? Good.

Holy mother of god. My eyes popped. There were so many possible storylines going through my head. Maybe that pee girl isn’t his girlfriend. Maybe he’s dating them both. Why did the other male not react? Did he not see them or is he in on their secret? Maybe they’re into threesomes. Oh.my.god maybe they’re all into mass orgies.

Then the other girls came back and I confirmed that pee girl really is the girlfriend. They left soon after with the couple holding hands and the rest as, well normal platonic friends. What was disturbing was how slut girl did not even glance around to make sure the coast was at least clear.

This disturbs me greatly. Does she even have any respect for her friend? My friends thought that it was a golden opportunity to expose that adulterous couple by role playing a case of mistaken identity. I beg to differ. That dude may have two girls loving him, but I would never in a trillion years be the third, even if it’s play acting. I have my standards ok.

My heart goes out to the girlfriend who’s in the dark. I pray that I will never be in that position. At least let me live in oblivion. What I won’t know won’t hurt me, I strongly believe in that. If he doesn’t love me anymore then end the relationship. Hurting me now is much preferred to when I find out and things get ugly.

If one day I find myself caught in that situation, I’m not sure how I’ll react. I won’t rule out the possibility of castration (after all it takes two hands to clap), or smashing the bitch’s face into broken glass (die, bitch, DIEEEEEE), or maybe I’ll just cry my eyes out and drown my sorrows. I really don’t know.

So. As much as I think I’ve seen/heard it all, apparently I haven’t. Maybe I’m more suited to live in the Stone Age. Maybe I should start sharpening my knives and cleavers in preparation.

What cruel things people do to those they love.



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