Lazy’s back! Of course I’m referring to myself, seems like a hubbababillion years since I’ve made any noise.
Been quite tied up with work recently with multiple training sessions for our new selling model and CRM system, meeting after meeting, a stressful triple call day out with me, my boss and my boss’ boss.
Ok enough of yawn central. I’m boring even myself. So. What should I tell you that you don’t already know?
*thinks for an eternity*
Oh, oh! This is kind of a sequel to my earlier post about the funny way I walk. One about how I’ve been wrongly judged from my appearance. So during one of our training sessions, we had break out modules where each group had to do a prezzo on flip charts. Because I left my brain back at home in my underwear drawer, I volunteered to write.
I know, I know. You’re thinking “What the fuck bitch. Get to the point already.” That’s the point! People started getting excited about my handwriting.
“Look! Her writing is so neat! Couldn’t tell from the way she looks!”
Excuse me. What has the way I look got to do with the way I write? Were they expecting something that looked like one would get if I stuck a pen up a baboon’s butthole and commanded it to scratch something out?
And then it gets even better.
“Can’t tell right?! Also can’t see that she reads very widely.”
Excuse me. Last I looked in the mirror I didn’t see a neanderthal staring back at me. Who defines only a certain physical type look like they read? Speaking of read, do read on.
“She writes well too. Sometimes I don’t even understand some of the words she uses.”
Excuse me (and thank you for your praise). It’s not my fault if your vocabulary is limited. Also, I’ll have you to know that I got an A1 for my GCE Os for English. And NEVER got a score below 78 throughout my entire academic life for the very language I’m using to write this post. Ok I shall stop being a braggart. The icing on the cake is here.
“Can’t tell at all! Especially when she’s such a wild party girl!”
Excuse me. First off, to clarify once and for all, the key word should be was. I don’t party these days, neither do I drink in the copious amount that I used to do (we’re talking about half a bottle of cognac almost every other weekend). Those days are far long gone. The last I drank was probably one beer weeksssss ago.
Second, who said people who party hardy cannot have a decent life? It’s not like I morph into a whore when I party. Okayyyyy I admit I tend to wear more revealing clothing when I do go out but I always go home untouched (not that I’m so undesirable but by choice), and to my own home. Alone!
Come on. If I don’t flaunt my boobies now while they’re still pert, even if I wanted to do so in 20 years I would be unable to do so because it would take too much effort to lift them from the ground.
I’ve been grossly stereotyped from the way I walk and write. And you haven’t even heard me speak yet. Sheesh. Perhaps I should just go around with a sheet covering my entire body and then people can mind their own business.
And did I just write a 3000 word essay?! So much for having to think and having “nothing much to say”. You have been warned if I really wanted to talk.