“You walk like a Victoria’s Secret model”. This has got to be the best and worst thing I’ve heard today. Or any other day, in fact.
I think it’s self explanatory why I said it’s the best. I mean, come on! We’re talking about THE Victoria’s Secret! I can safely say all of us has, at one point or another (in my case it’s every minute) has dreamt to have a body like them.
I have to also admit that I stare and scrutinise and almost-drool at Adriana Lima and Company very frequently. Especially because I’m following them on Instagram and summer is approaching (in Singapore we’re reaching boiling point).
Now, back to why it’s also the worst. Correction. It’s not worst. It’s like the worstestestestestest! It’s almost like an insult because even the visually impaired can feel the vibes that I emit that I’m far from looking like a VS model. When I’m talking about far, I mean from -98525795 BC till today kind of far.
This topic came up because X and I were chatting about random stuff and me and my bloody big mouth brought up this story about how mortified I felt when this guy I was (kind of) dating commented that I walk hiao.
For those not in the know, hiao is a hokkien (a dialect) term for vain, coquettish, or may I even say, immodest. Now you know why I’m making such a big deal out of this.
After I nearly fainted when X concurred, he tried putting it in a positive manner. That’s where this whole VS shit started. So because he said it, I’m going to, for one night only, pretend that I’m an Angel. I think I’m more like an Angle. A 360° wide angle, plus surround sound one.
As the ANTM jingle goes, na nana na nana nana na nana nana na na na. Wanna be on top (echoes top top top)?!
I hope the image of me in a skimpy bikini and gigantasaurus wings won’t leave an indelible scar.