Murder, I wrote (almost).

Back from Turkey! Fina-fucking-lly. If I could sum the trip in a few words, it would be: I will not fork out good money to go there again. Luckily for me, this was a free trip.

Don’t get me wrong, it is a lovely country. I think our problem was that we crammed too many cities in the five days we were there.

Too much time spent on the bus. Other than chatting, snacking, napping and taking landscape pictures on a moving vehicle, there was nothing else to do to kill time. I’m talking about being stuck for at least four to six hours

Biggest irony- we did not have a single meal containing kebabs. And honestly, after visiting multiple mosques and ruin after ruin, they all started to look the same. Thank goodness the weather was slightly chilly or I might not have made it back. Because I probably would have either murdered somebody or killed myself. And the food. Don’t even get me started on the food. Out of the many meals we had, only two were edible. The rest were…. Rubbish.

And…. After being MIA for a week, you’d think I would have been missed. By my family I’m sure, but I’m referring to him, the cause of my troubles and frustration in recent times.

Ok so I wasn’t really MIA. He knew when I was leaving and when I came back, but it didn’t make no shit of a difference to him.

I know he’s busy and it’s not like I’m expecting a welcome home party or a fanfare or the red carpet or for him to give me a koala bear-worthy hug or take out an ad in the papers or…. You get the idea. I would say I got an, at best, lukewarm response.

And then I had a revelation of sorts during one of the cabin fever-inducing bus rides.

Assuming both parties are interested in each other, but for some unknown reason, like maybe having forgotten the password to unlock their nine-number combination chastity belt, or, or say, having zero balls to say what they feel, or having an evil queen for a mother who locked us up in a tower, or being held captive by a psychotic ex, then how long does the other party (in this case, me) wait before giving up?!

I know, I know, some people might ask why I’m not doing the chasing instead, or confess how I feel, or even ask him to his face, but it’s not like I haven’t tried.

Anyway. That’s not the point. My question is, how long do I hold out for?

Plus, there’s absolutely nothing to buy in Turkey. All I bought were dried figs. And some bookmarks just because they were cheap. And chocolates from the duty free shops.

What also puzzles me is the conversation we had before I left. He said his classmates are still intrigued by me and that I should meet them soon.

They think we’re together. He told them we’re not. They don’t believe him. Question. Why does he still want me to put on this act then?

My friends think there’s something going on between us too. But I don’t reinforce their beliefs by getting him to meet them! What is up with this dude I would really love to know. It’s not like I’m expecting him to marry me. Or declare his undying love. Or give me all his money. I don’t need all these. I just need to know which way he’s swinging.

I’m also jet lagged by the way. Even though there’s only a six-hour time difference, it still fucked up my already fucked up system.

Everything is fucked up. I can list a trillion other fucked up things here but I’m also sure you’ll want to drown me after that so I’ll leave the trillion whining for another day.

I want to sleep. I need to sleep. I also have the biggest urge to slap someone.


Me looking really happy.


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