Great, big, hairy deal about that thing they call Love.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Or should I say Happy Singles Awareness Day! Ok so I’m a few days late but what does it matter. I always felt like it was an overrated day anyway and a good day for florists, chocalatiers (if there’s even such a word) and opportunists to make a quick buck. Especially a good day for suckers to spend a bomb.

I know. That made me sound like a bitter old raisin. But really, I’ve never thought of V day to be that special. For one thing, I abhor flowers. They can’t be eaten, can’t be used, and whoever said they smell lovely needs to get their nose checked. The very first time I received a big bouquet, I planted my face head in into it and came out gagging.

The thing I detest most about this whole V day hoohah is how they discriminate singles. Have you ever tried walking into a restaurant on this day and having the wait staff tell you they only have a couples menu available? And then they proceed to give you a sneer that spells L.O.S.E.R all over. Might as well tell me to my face.

Hey what the fuck. It’s a freaking normal weekday. So does that mean I have to starve because I’m sorry, I don’t have a partner?!?!?!

And then there’s the influx of I love you baby, Me and my dear photos, flood of what these people ate, went to, gifted each other, what they wore and blah de blah de blah.

Like really. Wow. That is just soooo interesting I would give up my left tit to indulge in and be excited for you guys. To me, these pictures are about as exciting as how some parents post a thousand and one same pictures of their tyke. If anything, they are annoying and vomit inducing.

Ok. I officially sound like a sour grape. But I’m not saying this just because I’m single. Even when I had a partner, I didn’t annoy the world and her mother with all this superfluous details. Yes I did dinner, the gifting part and most probably went home to have sex after, but I sure didn’t see the need to announce to the world HEY LOOK BITCHES I’M SO IN LOVE!!!!

Trés annoying. I’m not saying it’s wrong to be in love, but please, for the love of whoever, have some self-restraint. Did you never stop to spare a thought for those lonely souls?

Myself? I have my lucky stars to thank I’ve been single so many years I’ve forgotten what it feels like. I spent my day busy at work and only realised it was supposedly a special day when I bumped into a fellow sales rep on the field and he wished me a Happy V Day.

In valediction, I think you should show your love everyday (except when that person pisses you off so much all you want to do is rearrange his/her face), and not only that one day a year. Is it really that important a day?

I shall not say more just in case Karma is watching me and decides to pay me back triple times when I eventually find a partner and turn out to be far more annoying than the most irritating couple you know.

Have lots of sex people. Just be safe.


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