It’s 5am and I’m still awake. Yes, I just reached home awhile back after a night of partying. It’s one of the Drunk Boys Club’s members birthday.
But what an irony. While we’re celebrating J’s life, K broke a piece of news to me when we were alone. He has just been diagnosed with lung cancer.
Though it’s Stage 1 and his doctor gave him a positive prognosis, it still came as a shock. K is only 28. My age. He broke it to me while we were in a club’s smoking room. And my heart broke into a million pieces when he said “Sab, even though everything is fine for now, I wanted to cry when I got the news, but I couldn’t.”
He swore me to secrecy and told me not to tell J for now because he didn’t want to ruin the mood. Of course, it’s not my place to tell anyone in the first place.
I wanted to give him an almighty hug but I was afraid crybaby me wouldn’t be able to stop the tears from coming so I just told him to cut down on smoking.
Seriously, what kind of fucked up friend am I?! He’s one of my very dearest friends and all I could come up with was that?
I know sickness and death are part and parcel of life but I can’t help crying for him. How painful is knowing something, yet being unable to let yourself go and sob your heart out because you don’t want others to worry for you?
I know not what to do. I’m scared of losing him.