I’m top dog. And this dog is not feeling so tops.

I know we are well into the first week of December but I just have to share this. I am #1 for November again. To those who put it down to pure luck, I say screw you. You can now officially kiss my fair, big behind.

Ok I will stop bragging. Fortunes will change. I cannot be so obnoxious.

You know, even though I’m a diabetic, I have a fairly strong constitution. I hardly fall sick to the likes of the common cold, coughs, fever and blah de blah de blah. Of course I’ve played hooky on occasion, what am I? Mother Teresa??? No way, Jose.

But since I started repping (not sure if this is an official word but many of my colleagues use this term and because I’m sheep, I follow) in late September, I have succumbed to the cold. Twice. And no, I cannot rap, in case you were wondering.

I realised that some people are inconsiderate. Take yesterday for example. There I was, minding my own business waiting to see my customer when this pig girl sneezed in my face! Not literally, I would have slapped her if that was the case. But she was sitting shoulder to shoulder with me and she let out the mother of all sneezes without covering her trap!!!!!

My first and immediate reaction was to stop breathing. However I’m only human. How long could I hold my breath without putting my mental health at risk?!

And then, her disgusting germs must have seeped through my pores because I started sniffling yesterday night, and now my nose is as good as useless. I was super cranky and tired at work today.

Which made me think that my job is no different from a prostitute sometimes. Generally speaking of course. No matter how bad a day I’m having, the moment I meet my customers I have to plaster this big smile on my face and perform. One difference is probably the fact that I still have to drag my sorry ass to work when I’m having my period.

I hope that when I wake up tomorrow morning, the cold will miraculously go away like how we wish bad sex never happened.

I also wish that everyone in this world will develop common sense, personal hygiene, basic manners and awareness to their surrounding when they wake up.

Think the chances of me turning water into cognac are higher. Bah.

xoxoxoxo.

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