What gets my beef.

I’m back!

I have cheered up considerably in the past week (probably too busy at the new job to be moping) and am back to my usual self, if not madder. I hope I was missed (because I’m such an attention-seeker).

So I was at my good friend’s wedding yesterday where I was her emcee and I have concluded that weddings are annoying. No, I’m not saying this because I’m jealous and unattached. I have very legit reasons for making that statement.

Because I’m considered to be at a “prime” age for getting hitched, and it so happens hordes of people are suddenly getting on the marriage bandwagon, I suddenly feel myself being a target for nosy parkers.

Every single time I’m at a wedding, the question “so, when is your turn?” will eventually get directed at me.

First off, I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. Come on people, if I knew, I would totally switch careers to be a psychic or fortune teller and make myself big bucks and then roll around in it just because I can.

Second, what is wrong with being single??! It’s not as if it’s a crime. Worse, there are people who, when I say I’m single, give me a look of horror. Bitches. I said I’m single, not that I enjoy having sex with a horse (I’m just saying- not judging anyone who indulges in bestiality). Bitches.

I also receive brainless comments like “oh, you must be too choosy and have very unrealistic criteria”.

Of course I have to have stringent criteria. I’m selecting a partner who could be potentially be with me for life, not buying vegetables from the market. And last I checked, a man told me my standards are too lax and should be upped.

I attend these weddings because I want to give the couple my blessings, bask in their happiness, and not with the intention of “fishing” or being matchmade.

I think I’m perfectly capable of finding my own partner thankyouverymuch. I may not be cut out to be a Victoria’s Secrets angel but it’s also not as if I’m fugly.

I believe what we have in this life is all pre-destined. Even if I’m meant to die lonely and single with 54 cats, so be it. If it’s mine, I will not be able to run away from it even if I wanted to.

So I implore all you people who think you have superiority over us “poor, single souls” just because you are attached or married, LEAVE US ALONE.

Next person who asks me that question, I am going to ask you an equally annoying question back. Something maybe along the lines of “why are you so ugly?”, “are you sure your spouse is faithful to you?”, or “would you like to see how the wine in my glass can magically appear on your face in an instant?”.

You have been forewarned.

xoxoxoxo.

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