My mood at work in recent weeks has been going downhill. This week has been exceptionally bad. Now you all know that I have been trying (and failing spectacularly) to curb my swearing. Honestly, if my mother was here with me, she would probably disown me. I would disown myself if I could. In fact, I would stay away from myself if this was possible so that no associations would be made.
No, I still love myself, but I sometimes feel it’s too much. No person should swear this much. It’s not like I live in the ghettos and have to act tough in order to survive. The fact that I’m an Asian female just makes it worse. Whether I’m in a jovial or terrible mood I swear. People actually turn to stare and show their displeasure when I’m hanging out with friends. Hmmmm. On hindsight it could be because of the combination of our loud and maniacal laughter. Actually, only I laugh like a deranged hyena. Eeps.
Yes so coming back to earth, I get frowned upon a lot. Which doesn’t really bother me till I can’t fall asleep at night. But I need to do something about it. Because I’m usually a very smiley person at work, everyone knows when I’m having a bad day. I have had about three colleagues who asked me about my black face today.
I cannot help it. I have dumb colleagues, demanding clients (aren’t they all), uppers who tell me “give me updates when you are done” (read translation: you clear the shit, I get the credit), minions who sooner or later, will really be the death of me.
Ok I will not whine about work, it is mildly depressing. And only puppies whine.
Fuck. My brain is really turning to mush. What I really wanted to write about was how I was damn moody, then I got a text from L asking if I wanted to meet him. Then suddenly *cue rainbows and unicorns* I had a big fat smile plastered on my face. This man is too much. he knows how much love I have for him. But I blame no one but myself for allowing him to manipulate me.
ONE lousy text (together with its fab content of course) and I’m about to jump over the moon. Useless. But I’m so happy I’ve got a kerfuffle in my shuffle! Ok I know that’s not the right context to use but it rhymes with shuffle. So there. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~